Jessica

J
2004-08-05 01:25:58 (UTC)

grandma :(

Hey there. Well my grandma died last night. Im not even
sure what happened. Iguess just everything built up..the
smoking, drinking, worrying, boredom...i dunno. So im
pretty bummed about that. We are going down to tampa for
the memorial service on friday. :( My mom was pretty upset
last night. I just cant believe it...we had just visited
her over the forth of july. At least i got to see her
recently. i had a feeling that it might be the last time.
But it was her time. SHes in a better place now. um
yesterday was my school orientation. THat was a blast let
me tell ya. I have a million hard classes and a million
books. And to top it all off....ryan isnt in any of my
classes. ugh this is gonna be the greatest year ever i tell
ya. I was so happy to see him but i already knew befor i
looked at his schedule that i wasnt in any of his classes.
i know that my one frined katie is in one of my classes but
thats all i know. ive asked only two other people and they
arent in any. so im not gonna know anyone...im gonna have
no social life or i'll fail..im never gonna get to talk to
ryan and everything pretty much sucks right now. i still
gotta finish some summer homework and that makes me even
happier. for everything sucking so bad im taking it pretty
well. i think ive just decided not to care anymore and
thats how im gonna think. it sounds bad but caring just
stresses me out and if i dont care and just go with the
flow of things everything will be a lot better and im cool
with that. i just wish i had a chance with ryan. i dont
think he is with his girlfriend anymore but hey does it
even matter since i'll never get to talk to him. ugh there
has to be a way. i cant just give up after liking him for
this long. i hope this school year goes by really fast. why
cant i be starting senior year. senior year is gonna be a
breeze so most likely i'll have a lotta fun but noo...just
a junior. oh well what can ya do..nothing. ahh my baby just
got onling. wow ok well i think im just gonna go. i'll ttyl




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