Nick's Journal
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2004-07-28 07:57:09 (UTC)

You learn a lot about people when they're breathing right down your fucking neck

i'm back from austria. let the fanfare die down and the
parades subside. it was beautiful, mesmerizing, and as
juliann so adeptly put it: one big nostalgic trip for
nick. i would love to ramble about some happenstances
there but right now the most vivid memory of my stay there
is the trip back.
i got fucked. i got fucked hard. i was supposed to leave
to washington at 4:40 pm, we ended up leaving at 11:40
pm. ouch. but it wasn't at all bad. i got to meet some
people and say somethings i normally would never have said
had it not been for a sleep deprivation lasting 27 hours
and a fast last 16 (i don't eat airline or airport food).
there i am on united airways express, looking left and
right for that radical muslim who at any moment will
charge to the front, his limbs flailing in a state of
retardation known as fanaticism.
as i do this i have the pleasure (discrete pleasure) of a
danish girl sitting down next to me. after tap-dancing
through the aisles for about ten minutes (i'd thought i'd
be stuck with another non-bathing pakistani) i sat down
and realized she was 15 years old. as i said....discrete
pleasure of her acquaintance. so there we are sitting and
talking for a bit her with that astounding articulation of
english that is a matter of pride amongst her folk.
we sit there for 3 hours and finally the captain informs
us that we would be heading back to the gate. that's like
knowing you are moving back in with your parents after
embarking on a great expedition. you took the journey for
the sole purpose of getting away and the mere thought of
returning is an earth-shattering notion. unfortunely
stanza (like the musical term but pronounced in a way that
made my tongue give me an orgasm) started worrying, but
she had that manner in which european girls just kind of
dig their problems down and throw a layer of superficial
know-how overtop. you know they are just terrified as any
other 15 yr. old girl, but they hard set jaw and accusing
eyes demand an answer to their problem rather than
relinquishing it to the cause of others.
she was more fucked than i was. she had to make a
connecting flight. no chance. they threw us out at the
gate again like some piss-stained luggage and forced us to
stand in a line indicating morons who knew not what to
i stayed away from her as is always my fashion when i
don't have a true reason to be near to someone. then i
watched her trying to communicate with the black guy at
the counter about how she could make a different
connecting flight. the poor girl threw her best english
at him and responded in apathetic slurred speech. she
asked him to repeat and repeat. instead she got hostility
and a threat to just get out of his way and "why didn't
she have a flight attendant taking care of her anyways?" i
guess to make up for their own shortcomings.
she sat down disponded watching the rest of the crowd come
back wolfing down mcdonald's food. she spotted me and
came towards me. and i have to admit i was seriously
uncomfortable. she asked me what she should do if she
couldn't make her flight and if hotels in washington
and/or new york were safe. i thought of my bro who was 16
and then i thought of myself at that age. that bitter
fight between being treated like a child but wanting to
act like an adult.
before i could answer the idiots at the ticket counter
ordered all passengers back on the plane. on which we sat
for another 3 hours, just so that they could placate the
qualms of a few quarrelsome fucks. two of them sat across
from me and stanza the second time. a black girl and a
fat fuck white girl. the black girl cursed to no end
about the situation while the fat fuck kept up her beat
with the incessant crunch of her potato chips.
"why ain't we got no gas when we ain't even movin' no wha?"
"crunch crunch"
"hey, hey, hey yo, we goin' back to the terminal or we
movin' out?"
"crunch crunch"
"sweet jesus it smell like ass in heir, why we always
gotsta be next to de bathroom?"
"crunch crunch"
stanza had taken the windown seat in a futile attempt to
imagine america more beautiful than its reality had truly
treated her thus far. i stared at the cookie monster and
master p. they mistook my stare of amusement as an
invitation to idle chit-chat.
when we finally took off they shut up and started snoring,
whereas i tried my best to show stanza how to get to the
taxi in dulles. as we finally got her bags (the last ones
out) i walked with irmgard (who is the most blessed soul
ever waiting for my unlucky ass) and stood another 50
fucking mins. in line so that the retarded paraplegic
moron behind the wheel could get her to the hotel.
i hope she makes it to denver and i hope she finds
America's true beauty and identity as i did.
it takes a while but it beats the shit out of any other

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