The Apple

Fresh Words
Ad 2:
2004-07-28 04:41:25 (UTC)

7.27.04 Why?

Why is this so difficult? for those who have not been
updated, I have recently acquired feelings for
someone...named Jenn. and right now, I feel like I'm in a
ferarri at a red light. I want to go, but I need the
signal! And I try and I try and I try to get the go ahead,
a green light...but no...its stuck on some variation of
yellow and red. I'm not exactly stationary, but I really am
not going anywhere...if anything, I'm pushing the
friendship envelope, something that should be opened, but
not this way....
I need some kind of signal from this girl...I have
used awesome rhetoric (even to my standards) to get
something, a peep, and I get no truly inspirational signal.
Am I failing? To a degree. Have I failed? No...but the
ground underneath me is proceeding to crumble. If I fall,
this will be a tough one to recover from. I know rejection
does not come easy...its also not somethin that I am really
used to dealing with. It may seem like a petty problem to
you, reader, but like a portion of my heart is involved...
FTR: I dont really know why I like her...I mean she's
beautiful and an absolute cool person to talk to...but I
have multiple friends like that. Why her? beats me...but I
know its her that I want some kinda relationship with, I
just dont know why. She has some un-nameable quality that I
like....I guess its one of those first sight typa deals,
somehow more than a juvenile infatuation.
Anything would be nice from this girl,
rather her give me NO and a solid red light than this. I'm
justwondering how she feels about me.I have told her in so
many ways I like her...unless she thinks im playin
games..... but reader, you know im too old for games. games
are of the past...i wish someone would believe im serious
about this for once...i CAN settle down!
If youre reading this, I could use your support...gimme
some words of wisdom, or, as the best friends do, an open
ear for me to talk into...once again, it may seem
diminutive, but it is support in the things that matter
the most to others that mark true friends...