All the big things...instead of the smal
2004-07-27 20:52:25 (UTC)

The old beginning

Till 18 i held it off. Saved myself for that special
person. I was a virgin. Yeah ok so its rare to find thoose
these days exspecially at my age. I met a guy 3 years ago,
michael. Hes my best friends brother. Anyways he was the
most perfect guy till i slept with him. I guess it is true
when you sleep with someone it all goes downhill. He went
for this porn star, stephanie swift, he met at a strip club
one right. And i went for the love of my life, Jason aka
roy. Roy was my life my everything the one that fucked me
over and one that i realized wasnt truely the love of my
live. He moved to idaho after we both realized we both
liked each other alot. To be honest i dont think he ever
really liked me. Anyways he came back to where i live to
visit and i went there to visit about 400 miles away i
traveled on greyhound to see him. Did the wild thing a
couple and then came back. I have now not talked
to him in 10 days. Within the other 10 days we argued
mostly me being that the fact he flirts outragously with
other girls. I have to admit i was very jealous. What can i
say i was in love. Now im to a new beginning which im
pretty worried about. I have changed so much for the 11
months i knew roy. I have so many views now on things that
are not truelly right to some people but i think that all
men are out to get sex. Of course thats why god made us
right? Its not on emotions anymore its all on sexapeal. Now
i find it hard to find a guy i can trust. But this is my
new beginning. It has to be. This guy thats liked me for 2
years, paul. Called me today and says i changed. I agree i
have. He said i was mean. I dont mean to be that way. Do i
just need to find a guy to have me change my mind again? If
i run into that guy i wish him luck. And thank you for
making me have another beginning. Its not bad to have
several beginnings because ive had to many in my life to
say you cant.