insert witty label here
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2004-07-25 18:41:49 (UTC)

death of chemistry and self pitty

finnaly the end of chem is here and welcom it with open
arms i am tired of it and probably it of me. i haev some new
problems with mirabai now not true problem problems but just
small things in her character that take more understanding
yet i can't given that she has shown herself to me in the
very begining as being totaly rational and and scientific
such as i so we were having a conversation about what
cloths fat folks should and should'nt wear and also about
her whole fat lose thing which she is doing good at yet i
think she can do better and i will help her if she helps me
to do so.with out being emotional! damn that is the
aggravation well besides that what happen was that given our
extramly open relationship we talk about every thing she
calls me out on things and i her so i thought that i would
help her out on the fact that she was wearing a tanktop that
was a bit snug "and she does'nt have huge love handles or
anything or a bad gut yet they are there and it mad her look
fat hell for that matter i have soem unsightly fat on my
stomach big feet and a big nose but i don't highlighting
those bad parts i find ways to covbe them up with the better
parts and the right cloths" well in thisn situation she was
not and sometimes does not and i am not going to let her
just make her self look bad! the girl beautiful, the best
lookingf skin, nice eyes, you just want to sit and look at
her, then when she speaks its even better. but she just
like any other super modle looking person has somebad
sttributes somewhere so they cover and work those thins
until they are ready to be shown. so i told her that the
shirt was snug in a tasteful manner. then she just did'nt
seem to understand me b/c she looks resentful so i went on
to explain and showed a few examples at the mall then we
were talking about how she thinks in am superficial and i
understand it to be in a gross manner yet i am not i am
only a bit more than the usual what i mean by that is NO ONE
bit more superficial tham most but not much only b/c i am a
modle and i automatically pick ou tthese things hell i'll be
the first to admit righht now no cameras should be pointed
at my fat ass my skin isnot looking good right now either
but i am workning that i have some recent scar since my last
pictures were done that i have to remove before i go infront
of a camera again so i am not without problems i am probably
worst off than her! so anyway i sadi hell if i am soooo
superficial theni would'nt be with you. then she freaked out
totaly reactionary which is not like her and was totaly
irational when she should have taken it in and analyzed it
then questioned it as she does everything else! but instead
she acted out inappropriately for someone of her caliber
she is waayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too intelligent to be acting so
emotional i am not sure what the hell is going on but i told
that i was sorry.and that she was acting irrational. because
it is known to her and i that she is fat around the edges
because we were freinds first and she asked what i thought
of her at first glance. not bad fat but needs som triming
and to make matters worse she know it too b/c after coming
here from austrailia she noticed her new disposition but did
she do anything about it, NO, did she care? maybe, did
anyon ecare enough to help her? no? friends don't let friend
get fat! or fat around the edges! guys or girls especialy
guys we look horrible fat. girls at least wear there fat in
strategic places for a while before it goes to their gut
thighs and lovehandles all i am saying is if you have a
little extra fat don't show it no one wants to see that
besides your significant other at home if you take a shit no
one wants to see that, no one wants to see people makingout
in public there are things that are just better off not
being seen! and others not being shown at all if your fat
your wrong if you are in a wheelchair and wait for others to
puch you around yet you can do for yourself you're wrong if
you're over 20 witha fultime job living at home with your
parents and you have no debt can take care of ytourself and
your parents can take care of themselve's your're wrong
stand up on your own two feet take ownership for your
worngs if you are fat and content with it you need someone
to nmake you mad at yourself you are not suppose to feel
good about that! if you feel shity about it get up go
execise do some thing about it if you are failing your
classes you should feel like total ass go get help and fix
yourself if that class is just not your bag get out , and
don't use that as a cope out to be fat saying that your are
geneticaly prone to be so ok no problem WORK HARDER! if you
are a garbage man don't say its cause noone will give you a
chance you can go get it not with ease maybe but you can
get to a better station in life you should never be
satisfied with being a bottom dweller. self improvement is
always good jsut as along as you don't step on the little
man, and remember you don't need anyone to tell you that you
look great and all that crap that people sometimes say cause
its appropriate you never know if they are serious or not
so fix yourself for yourself. if you can't find a reason to
fix yourself look deep within and finds those wants that you
have and take a good look at them and ask yourself can i do
that now with my present staion in life and i beat high
colesterol, heart disease, run three miles, make a couple
million, give to the homeless help my friends, buy a new car
,give my parents better life, if you can answer no to any
of those quuestion or those that you contain within your
person you have work to do. you ask then in that case will
the work ever be over the answer is NO there is always room
for self-improvment because when improve yourself you can
positivly effect others that watch and covet what you have,
you will motivate them to make the proper change to do the
same and it is not all monetary becasue if you have all of
the money then what everyone else going to do give along
the way and you shall always recieve. even if the reciver
does'nt like it that moment in time they will coem to thank
you later.

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