Cowgirl_Mom

Ramblings of a Mom
2004-07-23 14:15:57 (UTC)

I'm hoping it's just a phase.

I'm hoping that this is just a phase I'm going through. I
feel like sometimes I am just walking through mud to get
through each day. I want to cry, but know that I can't
with both of the boys around. Especially since it will
make the older one think that it's something to do with him
or there is something he needs to do to fix it.
Last night I was on messenger with my best friend, and I
couldn't even break the wall down to tell her how I'm
feeling right now. I was more concerned with not raining
on her parade with my own crap than looking for a bended
ear. That brings me back to my diary to get it all out, so
to speak.
A couple of weeks ago, I talked about devastating a
friend's trust with a family matter. I had since tried
calling her twice, and she didn't return my phone calls. I
was tempted to break my appointment with her yesterday,
thinking that she was still mad at me. Turns out, I went,
all is well, and it was senseless to worry on my part.
Last week my husband put in 75 and a half hours at work,
and that was hard on all of us. Him being gone so much,
all of us being tired and cranky when we were together,
etc. In exchange for the extra effort, besides the obvious
pay for it, they are giving him a paid Saturday off (that's
five hours of overtime!). He was told to take it tomorrow,
but he got them to hold it for a few weeks until we take
the boys to Sea World just before Tyler goes back to school.
Wednesday I took the baby in for his 6 month check-up, and
he's 95th percentile on his head (for all of his brains,
they say), 50% on his length and weight. For all intents
and purposes medically speaking, he is perfect! While we
are there, I ask the dr about whether Tyler is ADD or
AD/HD, he's AD/HD. I also get the note that his counseling
is medically necessary for the court case. I pick up his
prescription refill, and don't check it while I'm there.
We go from there to a local amusement park (Park-N-Pizza)
to meet my Mom, brother, uncle, and his daughter for some
play time together. While I am waiting on every one else
to show up, I open the envelope with the script in it. I
discover that they have upped his meds. I'm not saying
that he didn't need it, I just hate doing it! We were
hoping that the counseling and such would help him to
eventually control things himself and we would not have to
depend on medication.
We have a great time at the park with everyone, spending 7
hours there. We go to leave, and I realize that I have
missed a call on my cell phone. I check the number, it
looks familiar, but I don't know who, so I check the voice
mail. It is one of my neighbors at the apartment complex
we (Tyler and I) used to live at. They were calling to
tell me that a gentleman that lived there has passed away.
This guy was an absolute angel to all that he came into
contact with! I would need a whole diary entry just to
sing his praises! The fact that he passed is not the hard
part (he was 92), even the fact that it was pancreatic
cancer that was only recently discovered, that is not it
either!
It's that his son, who lives in another state and only
comes down once or twice a year to see his dad, has/had no
idea how important he was to everyone around him! So,
there is no visitation, no viewing, no guest book, he will
have a military funeral in San Antonio next week, and the
way it sounds, nobody feels like they are really being
invited, so it will be his son and the funeral home
representative. That is what is hurting everyone.
Okay, so I get this call/message as we are leaving the
park, and then I go home, and the package of info for the
child support matter is in the mail. There is a list of
things that I have to gather/do before we can submit this
for court. Including listing all bills, copying
receipts/bills, doing a demand payment letter within 15
days, and certified mailing this to my ex. What a birthday
present to me this is! Holy shit, here it goes!
The good thing in the mail that day was his July payment
for retro child support (about time!).
Well, on the up side, the baby's trying to crawl, he's
figured out how to get up on all fours and rock his body
yesterday. Today my mom has her carpal tunnel syndrome
surgery on her left hand and some knee surgery on her left
knee. My Dad should be calling me soon to let me know how
things went.
I'm sure that the older child is starving now, so I better
go fix him breakfast and clean the house, since this is the
first day this week I have been home!