Christine

Visions Of Life
2004-07-22 14:30:46 (UTC)

Letter to Rob from our dad

July 21, 2004

Rob:

Having to write this letter to my only son who I love with
my whole heart breaks my heart into pieces that can never
be put back together again. Nevertheless, I must write
this.

Regretfully, I must tell you that I can no longer allow
you to stay in my home. I have packed your belongings and
will deliver them to your apartment. I am 56 years old. i
have two children, a company, and several employees that
depend on me. I can't continue down a path that will lead
to my death due to stress and heartache. So, I have to
take action to preserve my health.

I can no longer live in an environment where i have to
worry every day about what things of mine you are going to
take; what credit cards you are going to steal; what check
books you are going to steal and write bad checks screwing
up my credit. Rob, you know that you have taken these
things and lied about them. After the credit card
incident, I let you back. Three days later the checkbook
disappears. All these actions come down on my head not
yours because I love you too much to press charges and see
you go to prison, which you would. So, like everything
else you do, I pay the price not you. I can't continue to
live like that.

I bailed you out' let you into my home, spent countless
hours and tanks of gas driving you everywhere. I spent
time visiting you in jail, taking you to court, trying to
get you the help you need, buying you food and medicine,
paying your debts, signing notes to get you loans that you
do not pay back, and attempting to nurse you back to your
regular weight and health. You have been out of jail for a
month now and i have yet to get back one red cent despite
continual promises. Yet, you have received $91 from
insurance, $270 from unemployment, money from cans and
money from pawns. You have money for booze, drugs, and
Hoes, but nothing at all for your dad. You promised to
help me at the office to repay me, but you showed up only
twice.

The promise you made outting it on "God, your Mom, Doodie,
your dead grandparents, etc" was that you would abstain
totally from drugs, go to classes regularly, stop lying to
me and get psychiatric help for your problems. You have
not been to class in at least two and a half weeks, and
you refused the help Dr. Fine and I arranged for you. I
can't believe anything you say about what you are doing
now. It is all gravy. It is your life. You are an adult. I
can't do anything more to help you because you are not
sincere about getting help. I just need to cut my losses.

I found about ten empty liquor bottles, 3 empty 40s, and a
half joint in my home. You have broken your promise and
lied to me over and over. I can't trust you because you
lie, violate my privacy, and steal from me. I can't sleep
at night nor concentrate at work because Im worrying about
what you will do next for drugs or booze. You need help
son. You need medication and extensive therapy. You need
to get off the booze and drugs. I hope you get help before
it is too late.

I love you. I will not call the cops on you to have you
thrown in jail. What hurts the most is that while I am
doing all these things to help you, you are telling
everyone what a horrible person I am, how I beat your mom,
how you caught me using coke and called the cops, and on
and on. It all gets back to me. Best of luck, I will
always love you. If and when you decide to get help and
change your life, let me know. For now, this is best for
both of us. I am here if you need me as a friend or
father, not just someone to use and take advantage of to
help your habits.

Love always,