Amnesia

dude
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2004-07-22 02:35:02 (UTC)

update 7 21

So today wasn’t the worst of things. It was actually pretty
pleasant. But first, due to computer stupidity, I haven’t
been here for a while. Don’t get me wrong, this problem
persists. It is one of the reasons why I ended my other
diary early. That and work. And slacking.

I’m currently writing this not online. Cannot trust the
internet anymore. Tried this once, got kicked off, and that
was the end of that. I stopped writing. I’m writing this in
word perfect 9. I’ll paste it into my diary later.

So 2 months ago I got this awesome opportunity for a
career. A chance to start my own business in the financial
field. Which is something I wanted. This was better then
becoming a teller at TCF. So I get the job, I go on and get
my self insurance licensed. It’s still in the mail which is
pissing me off a lot. This business is called primerica. We
get people out of debt by helping them understand financial
concepts of debt management, refinancing, insuring what you
have, and basically getting you on the right track
financially. This isn’t a basic office job. HELL NO! It
requires patience and skill. A mindset of a champion. This
is something I’m looking forward to developing. In order to
become a director I should have this kind of mindset. So I
want to stick with it through thick and thin. But I did
join for the money. There’s opportunity here to set up a
business. To make things happen. To become an RVP with a
30,000 dollar base shop. That’s just the beginning.

I have been slacking though. I’ve made a commitment to meet
standards which are 4X5 Believe it or not, many people that
are full time don’t meet these standards. I thought I could
do that this month. I lost faith in that. Stopped coming by
the office. I will come in tomorrow, and I guess yeah this
is an excuse to not stop by but it is an actual reason. I
don’t like how there isn’t enough office space. I wanted to
make a lot of money so that I can rent out my own office
space and not have to worry about that. I’m always sitting
at someone else’s desk, using someone else’s phone, they
pay for it.

The pay? Let’s just say, it’s like this: You get licensed
you do 4X5 at the beginning, you make over $1,000. You do
the same thing next month you should have about $2,000,
same thing next month, and you have $2,500 next month same,
same, same, until about a year, then you start making so
much more. That’s just meeting standards, personally. Who
knows what your team could be doing.

Most of your team would be doing something stupid like
making excuses, losing hope, watching “Little Nicky”
followed by playing Devil May Cry and Castlevania: Symphony
of the Night. Like myself.

Yes, I’ve lost hope. Obviously I will not make 4 x 5 this
month. All my appointments are cancelling, rescheduling
e.t.c... Less business then ever expected by numbers. I’m
glad Mike Krzeczewski will not be attending this weeks
breakfast club, but I do feel bad for my manager James. He
should be RVP by now. I want to help get him there. The
market I’m working with is just real slow that’s all. I
mean, I am working with 1 star appointments and less.
Besides I’m rushing these things. But how can I not rush.
I’m freaking broke and from one of my appointments I got my
first ticket. I’m expecting a check for 350 dollars as soon
as I get my license, but it hasn’t arrived yet. It’s
Wednesday though. That really bites.

Oh yeah, on a less job related topic, Elizabeth has
leukemia. Go figure. It’s been detected real early though
so that is super good. It’s not spreading so they might
just wipe it out real good and that will be the end of
that. She’s got one more Kemo to do and then she’ll be on
medication for about 3 months. In the mean time she will
definitely be taking a semester off of school which she
doesn’t wanna do, but hey. She was in the hospital for
about 2 or 3 weeks. Then she got out went home, this was
recently. She’s been home for about a week. She, her
parents, and her doc are all very skeptical about her
seeing anyone. She is very susceptible to germs right now.
This could make her sick and in such a weakened condition,
her body would have an extremity of a hard time fighting
against that. I was sick when she was in the hospital, so I
only saw her once before that happened. Now I’m still
coughing and sneezing every now and then, I might still
have some virus in me so I rather not risk seeing her
especially at her house. I may cough on something she uses.
Or cough on my hand followed by hugging her. Heck I could
bring something in from the outside. So I figure I’ll just
stay away these whole 3 months. I’ll still call her, I just
really don’t want to have the slightest risk of putting up
with another conflict like that.

Eric has really been losing it. He’s been working at his
models non stop. He worries about liz way too much. Loves
her, yeah. Not to mention the stress of 3 jobs and not
being able to go to school cause of the whole in the wallet
the last school cost him. 10,000 g’s. I wish he’d let me
help him when it comes to debt management. I’m sure we
could work something out. But I have come off awfully when
I told him about my job. I guess he kinda despises it, or
just doesn’t want to comprehend it. It’s too much. And
technically he’s right. Not everyone makes it there anyway,
so yeah. I tried to make him feel better by getting
together a group of people to play softball. The event was
Tim’s idea. I’m not a fan of this sport at all, and despise
it’s sister baseball. But Eric would like it, and a
friendly outdoors activity is just what the doctor ordered.
It was fun. Unfortunately we only played for about an hour.
We started at 10:00 p.m But since this was an endeavor
planned 2 hours before, I think we came out kinda swell
with 10 players. Goal was 18 so we were almost there. Eric
then made me his disciple. I drank from his cup and ate his
bread. Like others have done earlier. Ann and I are on
board now. We should do something like this again.

Yesterday was the free film festival at grand park. The
movie showing was Alfred Hitchckock’s Birds I had an
appointment at 8 and the movie was starting at 8: 53 so I
tried to reschedule to an earlier time, but that failed. I
was to meet this woman at the Starbucks on Broadway and
Sheridan. So I drove east on Irving park to Sheridan,
turned left until I hit broadway, and there was a Jewel
Osco there with a starbucks inside. The starbucks was
closed but I sat there anyway. I was there at 7:30 and
stayed for 40 minutes. In the mean while Carrithers (Mike)
and Evil (Jimmy) were at Devon and Broadway, where there
was no Starbucks, but Sheridan did cross there as well. My
appointmentee was on Broadway and Sheridan as well. There
was a stand alone Starbucks there. This was south of Irving
park. Father Kyo, (Ivan) went to both of these places but
was quite late. About 1/2 an hour. The only people I could
meet up with that night were Dwight and Kara, who had
traveled automatically to downtown where they ate. Dwight
had his cell phone, therefore we were able to find each
other. If it weren’t for that we would have had our plans
in total shambles. But we got to the movie about 1/3rd of
it late. Popped ourselves on the grass, and watched about
an hour of that. We still haven’t figured out why the birds
were killing everyone. Then went home. Next week their
showing Mr Smith goes to Washington. A movie I haven’t seen
so good things should occur. We’ll just organize a
different way. Bring more blankets and such.

I got unstuck from playing Devil May Cry. I finally, I
don’t know how, defeated the two shadows, but got a little
further defeated the boss I dreaded severely, but not the
most, the Griffon. Now I’m on this pass where the light is
guiding me. On Hard mode, at one point in this passage
guess who I have to fight the two shadows. Crap. I think it
will be easier though it’s a narrower path.

Castlevania got a bit simpler with the online tips I got.
Problem though. I’m gonna have to start working out. All
this playing video games and making omelets has developed
my arm. The part between the wrist and elbow. But on my
right arm only. It’s like a guys arm strong when I flex it.
I keep touching it, it’s real freaky. Unnatural. Like
having a metal plate in there or something like that.


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