fuCKYou

If u read you'll judge
2004-07-21 02:23:51 (UTC)

he'll always comeback as the man u dropped,he'll never come back as the man u loved

~YYY
im getting better. today was JC's wake,and i wanted to go,i
was gonna go.but i found out that it was open casket.and i
didnt want to go.i didnt want that to be my last memory of
him. or anything like that. Tmrw is his funeral,and i want
to go. i do.but if my sister doesnt want me to go then i
wont. maybe she needs to be by herself tmrw.i dont know.i
hope i go. I'd feel horrible if i didnt.
I hung out with holly today.it was soooo hot.so we didnt
go anywhere.we just stayed at my house and played on the
computer,and watched tv,then she came to my lil bros
baseball game. kinda a "ok" day.it could have been worse or
better.
I saw kristin at the game.which im really glad that i
talked to her. we havent talked in a long time. and it was
good to catchup.i felt sorry for treating her so bad during
the school year.i just felt really hurt. but things are
okay now.and i gave her my cell number so we could hangout
or when she has a party. she said she didnt have a end of
the year party cuz we werent friends and she said she didnt
want to have a party if i wasnt going to be there. she said
it really seriously. i was like wow. maybe ishouldnt have
treated her so bad. this year,i did alot of shit i shouldnt
have and it sux,cuz this year i have changed the
most,friends have changed the most,everything.
I read JC's article in the paper. i didnt cry tho,but
when i saw his obituarie,that was hard. if they would have
put his picture in there.wow,i wouldnt be able to
stop.whenever i look at his picture (everynight) i just
cry,like automatically. but i dunno...
tmrw should be okay. im not staying home thats for damn
sure and tmrw me and holly decided were gonna be "straight
up gangsta's!" lol,its gonna be fun. we're doing it for
JC,cuz he thought everyone should appreciate rap music. Im
gonna try,from now on im really am.
L8er




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