Ramblings of a Mom
2004-07-19 13:26:30 (UTC)

Lots to talk about...

Let's see, there's been a little bit that has gone on here
since I last wrote in my diary.
Last week I called the local domestic relations office
about my ex's retro child support payment that is due at
the beginning of each month. It was the 15th, and, as
usual, I had not received anything. Each month, he has
gotten later and later on paying it. Last month he gave me
some cock and bull story about not knowing where to pay it,
to the state, or to the county. I even called to get the
answer on that one, and it's the county, and I told him
so. When I discovered that they had not received the
payment yet, I simply stated, I guess there's nothing we
can do about it either, right? The operator offers to
transfer me to our delegated enforcement officer. Whenever
I get transfered to him, he's never in his office, so I
always get a voice mail which does me NO good at all, since
he never returns phone calls. But, SHOCK OF ALL TIME! He
answers the phone! We talk about it, I ask him about the
lack of medical support payments that have been going on
far too long now and what are my options? Well, since we
already have an active case and my ex is essentially in
contempt of court already (with not paying his retro child
support payments), the local dro can file on the medical
support as well, all it takes is my request. Hmmmmm, gotta
talk to the hubby and think about this one.
I'm never one for confrontation or problems. I am
essentially a pushover and a wuss when it comes to stuff
like this because I worry too much about what other people
think about me or what they will think as to why I am doing
this. I also have to think about why am I doing this
really? Is it really about paying for Tyler? Or is it
because I am mad that he is all about his first-born son
that has come back into his life and is now living at his
and his fiancee's house? I'm not mad that James is staying
there with them or anything (kinda hard to be mad when he
doesn't even have a bedroom of any sort), I'm mad because
my ex is rolling out the red carpet for him and forgetting
about this little boy who just wants some time and
attention from his Dad! I don't know if I've said this
here before, but it's like the old biblical story, the
Prodigal Son. The son that has gone away, done all of
these bad things, etc and comes back gets the best of all
things given to him upon his return, while the son that has
stayed with the family and done everything in his power to
be loved and cared for as well as loving and caring, is
left to be.
Tyler didn't get picked up by his Dad for visitation until
5 pm Saturday because his Dad had to work, and he was
returned a little after 4 yesterday (Sunday). So, you
would think, logically, that he would have done something
special with him during that time. But what happened?
Tyler's Dad played in a softball tournament Saturday
evening/night. He was left with step-mom and step-sister
and her friend. He tried to play with step-sister (Morgan)
and her friend, but apparently they put an imaginary line
down the middle of the truck (with an umbrella) and told
him to stay on the messy side while they were on the clean
side, they didn't want to play with him. He was fed a
hamburger and a Sprite (he doesn't drink carbonated drinks -
- his choice) and he had to tell them to get him a water
because he wouldn't drink the sprite. He wets his pants
(again -- it's becoming a regular problem, about once a
week now) while at the ball field and when he came home
yesterday, he told me about it right away. His Dad told
him, "Now why did you have to bring that up?" Okay, let's
just keep discouraging him from telling the truth!
Sunday he apparently took him to eat pizza at Gattiland and
then brought him home. Tyler eats dinner, goes to the
restroom, and starts crying. I go to check on him, and
right after I get in there, he gets sick. He loses
everything he had in his system, don't know if it's what we
had for dinner, something from earlier, or what. My
husband is exhausted, so it's hard for him to censor
himself. He's worked every day since this past Monday, not
getting home until 8 or 8:30 most nights. He even worked
11-12 hours on Sunday. He asked Tyler at dinner about what
he did with his Dad and when he told him about being at the
fields, he said, oh, so you spent the whole time at the
baseball fields? That must have been fun (being really
sarcastic). Then when he got sick, he demanded to know
exactly what Tyler had been given to eat by his Dad. Ya
know he's tired when he starts openly having attitude
towards Tyler's Dad. He's usually the one pissing me off
by defending him in his absence!
Anyway, overall, we have decided to pursue the case against
my ex for medical support payments (psych bills alone are
already over $1400 since January that have been paid out).
I still worry about his reaction and how this will play out
for our son, but once this has been started, there's no
backing down. If it ends up in court, they will probably
pursue a full modification order to make him reimburse my
husband for insurance payments. When we divorced, I worked
for the State and didn't foresee being separated from
service, so it was cheaper and easier for me to carry the
insurance at that time. Now I'm a stay-at-home Mom and
housewife and my husband carries the insurance. The only
problem he has with this case being filed is that he
doesn't want to pursue the insurance factor with my ex. It
doesn't cost us any more or any less to carry Tyler on his
insurance. It's a family plan, and with a wife and child,
any other children are automatically covered. As far as he
is concerned, we will always provide insurance for Tyler.
Well, Tyler is probably hungry for breakfast, the baby's
napping, and there will be repairmen here in less than an
hour and I haven't had a shower yet. I gotta run, duhhhh!