i have officially seen the funniest thing in my entire
life. in some european cities (namely vienna) they have
these douchebags who pose as statues. they stand still for
a couple of minutes in hopes of you thinking that they are
just a statue and then they move, impressing those messing
half their brainstem.
anyhow, i am sitting there eating a slice of pizza watching
one of these guys on the corner. i stand there and notice
this huge st. bernhard sitting next to him rividly gazing
up at the "statue", attached to a 110 lb. 5 ft tall woman.
the woman is idly gossiping to one of her friends loosely
holding the reins of her beast.
all of a sudden the "statue" moves. the dog fucking lost
it. he was scared so badly that with one bark he lept at
the man and knocked him to the ground. two sniffs and five
seconds later the congenial dog realized that he had made
the biggest mistake of his life and quickly detached
himself from the writhing, screaming figure beneath him.
i am really enjoying austria. i have been able to soak in
the culture once again and appreciate (as well as abhor)
their culture. right now i am sitting in an internet cafe
where everyone around me is smoking and drinking a beer.