tbqb12

my stupid mouth
2004-07-15 04:20:06 (UTC)

don't know when i'll be back again

it's been a long time, hasn't it? i was on vacation for
about 12 days, and i knew if i made a new entry here i
would feel obligated to talk about the trip. last time i
went to california, i kept a separate written journal so i
wouldn't have to relay everything when i got home. (not
that i can find that journal now...) this time i was way
too lazy to do that. and it didn't seem like there was
anything worth writing anyway. i don't even want to talk
about it now. i told my friends and co-workers the bare
minimum about what i did, completely forgetting to tell
them we went to tijuana while staying in san diego. i
don't know, that seems important to the story...that i left
the country. but i honestly didn't even remember that
part. i think it's because i'm trying to block everything
out. ok, there were a few good parts such as seeing the
house that was used as the outside of the 'full house'
house. and i got to see megan. we met at the universal
city walk outside of the theme park and ate at the hard
rock cafe. and i liked being able to see so much of
california (san francisco, the redwoods, the little towns
along the coast, hollywood, san diego), but i don't know if
it was worth it. i did get to see my uncle, which was
nice. he came with us almost everywhere we went in san
diego, and he also disliked mexico just like my sister and
me. who wants to be heckled by a bunch of middle-aged
mexican men trying to sell you fake gold jewelry? first of
all, i don't even like real gold jewelry. i don't like
jewelry at all. but they don't take no for an
answer...probably because they don't speak freaking english!

so yeah, i've turned into a racist. it hasn't been a
sudden thing, but i don't really know how it happened. i
don't think there was anything that could've triggered it.
and all the japanese tourists i saw only made it worse.

oh, and another bad thing about vacation was that i feel
like i missed so much while i was gone. i missed smoking a
cigar with lindsay and damon, which i think i would've
done. i've always liked the smell, and with the peer
pressure, i don't think i could've controlled myself. for
some reason, cigars seem okay to me becuase it's not like i
would smoke them all the time. can you even see me smoking
a cigar? yeah, that's what i thought. and i missed so
much drama at work. steph, deanna, and jacy all met guys
at the club they go to on thursdays. i think jacy's is the
only "serious relationship" that will result from this,
however. steph doesn't seem interested in her guy (he's
not smart enough for her. she needs someone intellectual,
and he swears too much.) and deanna's brazilian barely
speaks english. i just worry about jacy. i think she gets
into things too quickly. i was actually supposed to see
her newest fling tonight because she and he (that sounds
really weird) went to the same restaurant that lindsay,
josh, and i went to tonight, but they left before we got
there.

taryn couldn't come with us because she was working. i
haven't seen her in forever, but the four of us have plans
to go out to breakfast on friday. dinner tonight was
pretty fun. lindsay and i shopped for four hours previous
to that because we were waiting for josh to get out of
work. and guess what i found out tonight that is the most
amazing thing ever? josh and i pronounce the
word 'ancient' the same way. i didn't think anyone else
said a hard 'c' sound when they said it. everyone always
gets mad at me when i say it. this is great.

did i tell you my mom and ken bought another car so that i
won't need rides to and from work from them all the time?
yep, and it's old. a 1989 toyota celica. it makes me miss
wild cherry so, so much. i almost start crying sometimes.
*sigh* but at least it makes me more independent from them.

ok, so i have to mention two dreams i had while i was on
vacation because they were so clear in my mind even though
they're dissipating now. ok, so the first one involved tom
brady with whom i haven't been obsessed in ages. and i
almost never have dreams that i would be embarassed to talk
about, but this one involved a shower. it was in my old
house, actually. in my mom's bathroom downstairs. yeah,
it involved me, tom brady, and a shower, so let your
imagination take care of the rest. so we get out (this is
so awkward), and i'm in just a towel. and his freaking
fiancee (bridget moynahan) comes to get him or whatever.
so i'm still in just the towel, and i knew that she knew
what had happened. so what does tom do? he introduces us
to each other except that he says to bridget, "this is my
chum marissa." first of all, who says chum? why, why, why
would anyone ever use that word? i don't like it. and we
had just shared a rather intimate experience (no, no, not
exactly what you're thinking), and he had the nerve to
refer to me as his chum. who knows where i got the
material for that dream.

and the second one. which may have happened before the tom
brady one. wutevs. this one involved nick, who i missed
while i was away, and i don't even know why because it's
not like i see him all the time. in fact, he's online
right now, but i don't feel like talking to him. it's too
late (in the evening not in life in general...although,
that may be true, too). anyway, i don't remember much from
what was probably a very short dream. i was talking to
nick, and he was mad at me because there was something
important that i hadn't told him. i have no idea what that
something was, but i responded with, "what did you want me
to do, call you?" and he said, "yes." and i said, "i've
never called you before in my life." yeah, so that was
exciting...(*sarcasm*) i just liked the fact that he was
mad that i didn't tell him something.

i know i'm jumping around, but things keep coming to me.
so work is alright, being back there and stuff, but two of
my managers have been "eliminated." it's actually their
jobs that have been eliminated, but i feel awful. bill has
been at sears since he was 15, and he's in his mid-thirties
now. and annie has been there a long time as well. and,
the worst part of all, weasel boy is probably leaving,
too. what will i do without him?




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