Life's choices
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2004-07-13 17:27:39 (UTC)

Was Carnegy right?

Yesterday we were riding in the car with Val, when the
eternal relationship questions started coming in. Well, I
turn out to be his ideal choice for a wife, but (or that
but)I should really consider learning how to speak to
people because the way I talk to them now is aweful. And
then he went on to a 1/2 hour tirade how his ex taught him
to make people be nice to you even though they're not very
nice to others. And on and on it went...
Don't get me wrong...I am not the nicest person in this
world, but I am content with that. I do not want the whole
world to be in love with me, just selected group of
people. Val loves attention thus he makes nice with
everyone (nothing wrong with that, just not me).
Today he calls me up and say "what did you say to the
lawyer's secretary, she practically hissed at me when I
asked her to call the lawyer to the phone, he said that you
do not understand how things work". What do you say to
that? My conscience is clean, I was pollite and non-
confrontational. We just spoke of different things, that's
all. I think that the reason it bothers me so much is
because Val has a picture of me in his head and I am
completely not the person he sees. Things that come out of
my mouth in his native tongue somehow have a different
weight then when I say them in my tongue. I have a quick
wit and a sharp mind, I am very patient (with slower
people), but I really do not want to change who I am, jsut
because Val thinks that.
I think of Al often, almost every day. Now it is more
nostalgic, than anything else. Marrying Val is the right
decision for my own sanity. Val is strong enough to keep
my mind from running to Al,because if I do, I will be
ruined forever.

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