FloydianSlip

Going Postal
2004-07-12 17:18:42 (UTC)

Things that come in 2's

My friend Ed killed himself on June 22nd. I didn't find
out about it until July 7th. I'm still trying to come to
grips with it all.

When my grandma killed herself in 1992 I ate myself up with
guilt for years. ...If only I would have... I should
have... I could have... I would have. Now that I'm older
and looking back I realized that she would have done what
she did regardless of how hard I tried or how good I was.

I'm trying not to eat myself up with guilt over Ed. I'm
doing pretty good so far, but every now and then I ponder
the thought and it makes me feel bad. I know deep down
that there's nothing more I could have done though.

On a brighter note...

It's my birthday today and dad got me Mystic River on dvd.
Dad said he tried to find me the new Heart cd, but they
were sold out when he went to get it. Oh well...I'm happy
with what I got since I really wasn't expecting anything at
all.

I probably should stop. Mother's right behind me and I
don't want her reading.




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