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2004-07-10 14:37:36 (UTC)

one blink eye, i hv been back..

one blink eye, i hv been back for 1 week, about a month, i
will be back to NY. reali don want to go back there, here
was the only place that i can find my real life and a real
me. when i was back there, i hv to figure out ways to face
him and her, i hv no more energy to spend time w/ him just
to argue sth.
dunno y, we didn't communicate to each other hv been 3 yrs
and i hv no more feelin of him, i duuno y i still hv him in
my memory; not just a little memory, it's all........the
entire memory of me and him being "together"

i always ask myself y i chose to be w/ him, am i crazy????
he was..........like a punk.......an idiot, nth gd, he just
made me so embarrased..............................

i thought i hv thrown everything away that's about him, but
few days ago, i found sth in my drawer; it's a cristmas
card from him when we were f.2, when i think back, i found
out myself was so naive and stupid (loca). y i be w/ him
and did crazy thing b/c of him, now his memory will stuck
in my mind 4ever b/c.............the crazy thing that i did
that will never go away, it's PERMENANT
wht's the actual and real definition of like and love, can
somebody tell me???

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