2004-07-09 16:05:38 (UTC)

a pill to make you numb, a pill to make you dumb, a pill to make you anybody else...

i think ive outgrown this town and most of the people in it.

maybe its my fault when all is said and done and laid out
and fingers are pointed. but most of the people i have
considered good friends for a long time now seem blatantly
selfish and selfinvolved. almost everyone i know irritates
the fuck out of me right now.

matts just a fucking asshole, no news there.
claudia, i know shes going through a lot, but shes never
been like this, just completely absorbed in herself and
disappearing when she doesnt need a ear to listen.
sebastian i love to death but any sense of organization
when it comes to the 5 million of us he calls friends is
really lacking.
dawn is very different, it seems like she has some kind of
superiority complex this time and i love her, i wanted to
spend more time with her, but i cant really take it.
everyone has noticed her attitude and it makes me sad.
caroline, she has lost just about everything i loved and
admired about her. yes, she was always a stupid pothead
with little to no ambition, but she had this sweet
innocence and like, i dont know how to say, like a giving,
loving glow around her like she was just a good person
underneath the annoying shit. but now, its gone and shes
bitter and cranky and inconsiderate and still a fucking
pothead with no motivation, wasting her life and it
infuriates me.
erin, well she just drives me crazy with her constant
questions and 'hows caroline how are things' jesus fucking
christ if things CHANGE i'd be talking about it. ashleys
off with her BOYFRIEND!?! too wrapped up in that whole
whatever to have time for anyone or anything else.
matts a fucking asshole, oh yes, i said that already. it
deserves to be repeated.

as for newer people, the other matt turned out to be a real
penis, which wasnt a big surprise, but still a
disappointment. and it doesnt seem ryan's entirely
different, which is a bigger disappointment cus i thought
he was a nice guy. lina is fun but she too grates on me at
times with her attitude - carolines in my life and thats
not going to change because of someone i just met who is
STRAIGHT and confused. and the comments are irritating and

other than that, things are fantastic. im bored out of my
mind because i cant think of a single person i really WANT
to spend time with. a single person who i trust, feel
comfortable with and enjoy their company. and thats
terribly sad.

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