DayDream Believer
2004-07-08 13:03:18 (UTC)

My heart, my body, my brain

Everything hurts right now, places I never knew I had, its
a screaming pain inside me.
Yesterday my mother called and asked if I could come home,
she had just called for a ambulance afther my father. I
reached Tommy as fast as I could, packed my things and he
drove me home.
When we got there my father had been picked up by the
ambulance staff, lying of the flour, partly screaming,
with an unlighted sigarett in his mouth. He was verry
angry with my mother, did not rememberd that he gave her
the promisjon to call them, so he would not let her come
with him.
They took him to a medicine sentral not far away, not like
the hospitals ER, but stil.
Afther a while he called, asking my mother to come and
pick him up, we was like, did they not see that anything
is wrong with him?
My mother went, called back a while later, he refused to
go into the doctor, the ambulance and medical staff can
not use voilence agenst patience, so the police had to
come, take him in hand cuffs and drive him to the mental
Where I live the police dont have much to do, not all that
inportant anyway, so thay come whenever you call then,
stil they dont come for fun. In the city they pick out the
situvations they think its nessesary to come.

In the beginning I was scared. What it this? Why can they
never find out whats wrong with him? Am I, Karoline or
Grace gonna get this when we get older? The amublance
personell had told my mother that he was no specialist,
but it looked to him like a person who had been drinking a
little for a while, got absinence and then suddenlty drank
a lot. Karoline said he has been drinking more the 1/4 a
bottle pour.

Tonight I seelpt like a baby. It was so good to know that
we was safe and he was safe. My mother asked Tommy to take
away our gun in the house, he hid it, it feels good.
My mum was verry upsed today, twwo of her sisters came,
trying to help her. We have been crying a lot the four of
us, Karoline is working and Grace is at a friend, she
seems to not care about it.
Karoline does a lot, maybe the most.
So its been me, my aunts and mom today,crying as the thins
got worse.
The mental hospital want to relise him, or, at least they
cant keep him there anymore, he have to be there of his
own will. We said no he cant go home, trying to tell them
how bad and how ill he is. He had more the 1.4 alcohol in
is blood at 1 a clock tonight, then he had not been
drinking since at last 6.

He told the hospital that he let all his energy out on
work yesterday, and it looks like they`re bying it. We
called all over to ask if there is something we could do
to keep him there. He is the perfect actor, and the
hospital has probobly feed him with medicine, so they dont
see how bad it is.
The only one who know is is primary doctor, who is on

You wont belive all we tryed, I even called him. Telling
him how much I loved hi, that we all loved hi, no one was
angry with him, we only wanted him to stay there , for one
more night, at least?
But he said he could not stand to be there, it was crazy
people there?
I asked if he could to to a nother department in the same
hospital, he said no, he was going to a hotell and would
not bouther us.
He seemed so clear on the phone, allmost fine, like a wall
nothing I said synk in. Then he said by and hong on, I was
crying my eyes out all the time!

Its such a hopless situvation, cause as strange as it
sunds, I do love him. Hes my dady, and I went him to get
help. I dont want him home or at a hotell, I want him
where its medical staff.

And heres the worst thing, he thretned, or told Karoline
that he would comitt suecide. What a birden on such a
young girl. I told my mum and aunts, that should be enugh
to keep him there. He even told my mother he would commit
suecide today in the phone! He hospital people did not
hear it, so its nothing we can do.

My mother have mer sisters with her, to give him his car,
mony, phone and some clothes. Its just so heart breaking.
He is such an inteligent person, that he play good, when
hes not! His doctor starts to get the picture now, but not
the experts, cause hes only with them for such a short
time, and you need a while with him to see the real him ,
to him to become the real him. And not this perfect
person. So the family want him to stay there for ten days,
thet will be enught to get them to see the picture, but
they say no.

And I am so scared for whats gonna happend. So sad and
heart broken. I love him but I can see how bad he is to us
and him self. He cant even see that he is a alcoholic. I
dont know what he tell him self about that part.

Heartbroken Angel

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