Christine

I'm a bad person sometimes

I feel really guilty for being jealous of my little
brother. I am jealous because he has the dad I never had,
he has all of the toys I never had, and now he will have
the house I've always dreamed of. I am 22 and shouldnt
think this way, yet I do at times. Im such a horrible
person.

On another note, I also feel guilty because I've been
cutting recently. Not alot but enough where I'm embarassed
to be without pants and hide my leg with my hand during
sex. I dont know why I do it. I get overwhelmed by emotion
and just do it. I was so proud when I stopped and now Im
just ashamed. Maybe stress is the cause of it. Between not
knowing whats going on with work and being slammed with
homework, Im a wreck. Hopefully Ill gain some willpower
and stop before it becomes a bad addiction like it used to
be.

Besides those things, Im alright. My married life is
wonderful. Just scared about my job and the future. I am
waiting for my insurance settlement, which will take
months. I just want medical bill collecters to quit
harassing me. Plus I need a new car since my other car was
totaled. I have such an exciting life lately. At least I
get plenty of sex. I need to start hanging out with the
colorado democrat party some more so i can show my
support. Soon enough I will. Go Kerry!