pensive problematic

have i figured it out...

i now live a life of some content
that is seldom bothered by my disquieting thoughts...
thoughts that reek of doubt and hesitaion
my attention lately however has been to a mental picture
of my lonesome self...
i cannot seem to loose the strength of...
protection and truth
is what i've concluded...
perhaps i do not see myself with anyone because
i lack a certain something
something that wont come easy
and possibly would never come at all.
its something everyone else seems to have...
something that i do not understand
in every relationship romanitc or not
this 'something' screws me over...