Thoughts arrive like butterflies
2004-06-29 19:12:13 (UTC)


I haven't been able to write in here for sooo long. Not
that it really matters as I hardy write in this diary
anymore, and even when I do it's only because I have
nothing else to do. A couple of weeks ago my sister started
using the computer and she must have downloaded something
because there's popups everywhere and it keeps freezing,
and messing up.
I was in town at lucnch today and there was a woman in
front of me and she looked so sexy.She wore mens style
pinstriped navy trousers and a white fitted shirt tucked
into them, and she was quite petit and thin, with her hair
black and shiny up, and it bobbed about with every step.
She was lovely.
But anywaysmy exams are over and everything, which I'm glad
about, but it just gets me really worried thinking about
next year, because I know in two years I'll have finished
school and will either have to go to uni(which I don't want
to go to ) or stuck in a dead end job. I don't really know
which is the better of the two. Either way I'd end up
losing contact wit most of the people I know, and I just
felt pretty miserable and bleak. Well, everything just kept
building up, until on Sunday my mum said something which
really annoyed me and I came upstair and cut my hips and
the top of my legs. I haven't cut for months and now I go
do that, when its only 4 weeks 'till I go away to Turkey. I
know it's a stupid thing to do but I didn't think. And then
yesterday I was messing about on the trampolene and I
turned my back for a minute to fill up my water bottle and
my dad had put it back in the garage. Well...I was really
annoyed and went off on on and he said it was causing dust
and other excuses, and I was so wound up and pissed off
that I just went to my room and did it again :(

I'm still pissed off about the Cornwall trip and me and E
are supposedly going to Scotland at easter and I really
dont want J to come, just to see how she bloody likes it,
but is E is just too nice a person to do that to anyone, so
it will probably me that ends up staying while everyone
else goes away. Again.