another one of those nights.. why havent i gotten used to it??
I just want him to leave.. I'm so sick of feeling like
this... and lately, it's getting to be all the time...
well, whenever he's here. I had to cut my last entry
short because one of his friend's stopped by, and all I
needed was ta have them run and tell Jason what they might
have seen on my computer screen about him. What in the
hell am I suppose to think?? He stayed up all saturday
night, disappeared until sumtime after daylight, and has
been up and running all fucking day... FUCKING
TWEEKER!!! Any other day you sleep until noon, take
another nap, and end up sleeping a few more hours... You
could at least make the effort to not make it look
obvious!! How fucking stupid do you think I am?? You
left before midnight to take the garbage out... hmm, tell
me why i'm not supprised that you're not home two hours
later. Three people came by, all of them have seen you
w/in the past hour.. you're fucked up.. i hate you so
fucking much!! You think I want to spend the rest of my
life with someone like you?? You're only income at the
moment is some phoney check scam one of you're druggaddict
friends is trying to pull off... i forgot where printing
checks on your computer with the intention to have someone
cash them was illegal!!! FUcking stupid!!! I dont want
to get in trouble for something I want absolutely no part
in! You tell me smoking bud will get my daughter taken
away from me... um... i know for a fact that's not
true! What you're doing will!!! I cant even believe
you'd risk that! I hope you get caught... I'm afraid
you'll get caught.. i dont want anyone thinking i had any
part in this. Why the fuck should i go to jail??? I'm
not doing anything wrong!! Dumb fucker!!! Yeah, i know
this entry is a bit choppy and written out horribly, but
i'm in kind of a hurry, wanna get everything written
before he gets home... never know when that'll be. Oh,
and now you're going to try and sell weed for this same
druggaddict... I hate that you'd even ask me to put
myself and my daughter at risk for that shit! Why in the
hell are you still here??? I'll tell you know, if i even
suspect that he's pulling any kind of bullshit in my
apartment, I have absolutely no problem reporting it..
Fuck it!! Why not be a snitch?? I keep my mouth shut all
the time. Only ta be walked on! Taken advantage of!!
Stolen from!!! God the list goes on. Why is it so easy
for you to be a piece of shit?? Why was it so
unreasonable of me to expect you to stay home at night...
seeing as how you dont have a job and dont do anything in
the apartment that doesnt require eating, shitting, lying
and computers?? I just fucking hate.