Spice_Sugar123

Full of Secrets
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2004-06-25 00:42:28 (UTC)

Wow, been a loooonng time

Hey, It's been a long time, so much has happed. I don't
really feel like explining it all or anything. And I know
what happed, and no one else reads this so, what do I
care?
Anyway, I'm still in love with Chris, I know it's
pathetic, but I don't think I'll ever stop loving him. The
first love is always the hardest and I don't think you
ever really get over it. But now I know for certain that I
can never have him, and us going out in the first place
was probably a mistake. You see, he's gay. So, no hope for
me ever. BUt oh well, I'm trying to move on the best I
can. I still hurt, but not as badly as before. I've been
depressed mainly since me and Chris broke up all that time
ago. Idk. it's gotten pretty bad, and crummy. I've tried
to Kill myself twice now. The last time I almost suceded
except Chris called 911 on me, and I got taken to the
hospital and everything. BUt that's over and done with, I
know now that I can't kill myself and that that's not the
answer. I guess I've been getting alittle bit better in
the past couple of weeks. I've been trying to let go of
Chris, I know now that I'll never stop loving him, I'll
always love him. I just have to let him go.
There's also the whole thing with God that I don't feel
like getting into.
All I know is that lately I've been feeling alot better
and I love it. I don't want to be depressed anymore. I
just felt like writting (typing) alittle. idk why, just
did. but that's all I really have to say for now.


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