Kinarra

Diary of an American Witch
2004-06-24 08:28:34 (UTC)

Bob the Drummer

Ive had this song going through my head for the past couple
of days. It's a song by a band you don't hear about much
called Dada. Anyway, the song in and of itself doesn't
mean much, it just has this hauntingly calm feeling about
it that stays with me. Yeah.....Anyway.....

Book One, Godsbayne, is on it's way, minus (grumble
grumble) a few teeth, but book two.......well, let's be
plain, it is crap. I have hit a block. See, before, my
writing came out of suffering, it was a way to transport
myself away from this world and the nastyness within. But
since I have found peace with myself, and true hapiness in
a relationship, I have no reason to write. I need a muse.
I need someone to inspire me, or something.Id rather not
suffer if at all possible, but.....
Cory, for all he tries to support me, and bless him he does
try, it just isn't the same as, well, nevermind what it
isn't the same as, it just isn't the same as before.

Ok, it's my freakin diary, and nobody reads it anyway, lets
be honest. Sometimes, with Cory, I don't feel like Im
speaking to an intellectual equal. There, I said it. It's
not like he is stupid or anything....I just can't remember
the last time I had a conversation where I quoted
Shakeaspeare and anyone got it. All he ever talks about is
D&D and viedo games, oh and old stupid movies that have
really no intelletcual value whatsoever. Its like Im
drowning in this sea of of of extreme normality. I miss
coffee at Joe Muggs, and conversations with strangers. I
miss being smart damnitt! I miss wordplay, and puns, and
sarcasam so dry James Bond wouldn't drink it. Shaken or
stirred.
I love him. He's warm, and sweet, and great in bed, but he
loves to argue, not debate, argue. He picks something you
believe in, and he'll just pick at it and ask stupid
questions, and present you with points that are so bluntly
idiotic and unmoveable that you just give up. I can feel
myself getting dumber, I don't talk anymore because there
is just no point. And I think that is a big part of my
block. The words are just not there anymore. Because I
stopped using them.

*sigh*

I don't know.


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