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2004-06-24 01:17:04 (UTC)


ok so i'm doing this whole "myspace" thing, and it's such a
source of anxiety for me because i find people i know
because i search the directory compulsively, and then i add
them to my favorites but i never have the balls to invite
them to be my friends because i'm so convinced that they'd
reject me because i feel like no one likes me...then i find
out that people i know from high school are listed as
friends of people that i know through completely different
people in different towns and it drives me crazy that i
don't know why or how they are acquainted!! so i put all
this stuff into my profile that i feel sooo insecure about
because i'm afraid that i sound too pretentious or too
snotty or too nerdy or whatever, and i worry that the
pictures i put up are lame and melodramatic, then i get
insanely jealous if any girls end up listed as NiQ's
friends, cuz he's on myspace too, and i wonder how Brien got
300 people to be his friends, and i go to the people i know
and i obsessively read what other people i know have written
to them and i wonder why other people are so well liked and
i'm such an effing geek, then i realize that i'm freaking
out because of this fucked up little website and it all
becomes so clear...

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