Cowgirl_Mom

Writer's Block.

See, this is what happens. I finally get a few precious
moments all to myself, and I am having a bit of a time with
Typer's block! My husband is watching FBI Files, the older
son is watching a video, and the baby is asleep early.
I've had so much going on lately and my stress level has
been so high, I've literally been sick to my stomach the
last few days. We are preparing to go on this vacation
road trip from Texas to North Carolina. There seems to be
so much that needs to be done before we go, and we leave in
3 days! Today I was literally on the go from the time I
got up until now. We left the house at 9:25 this morning
and didn't return until after 4:30 this afternoon. Believe
me, that's no picnic with a 5 month old. But let's see, we
went to swimming lessons (in the rain), got lunch, went to
my grandparents to eat and rest for a minute, went to older
son's psych appt., went to boys' dr's office to pick up
prescription for older son, had baby's ears checked
(pulling on ear as if he has an ear infection) and all is
well (thank GOD!), then went to ex-husband's job to get
older son's shoes, Walgreens to get older son's scrip
filled and pick up my refills, and then finally came home!
Of course, once we get home, that's not the end of things,
gotta nurse the baby, call Mom about her dr's appointments,
fold clothes, wash bag for trip (cat hair), fix dinner, eat
and feed the baby, clean up after dinner, start the
dishwasher, bathe the baby, nurse him again, and put him to
bed. Is anybody's head spinning yet?
There's something that I wanted to say in here today and I
think that I have it together now...maybe. Last night
something struck me about my husband and I. Okay, for
starters, I'm kinda complaining, I haven't gotten laid
since Mother's Day weekend. I've even moved the baby to
his own room (thinking that was what was slowing things
down) and still no dick, to be frank about it! But last
night I got this feeling that just washed all over me.
It's like last night (as it has happened many times
before), I once again realized how much I love him and our
life together. I realized how I wouldn't trade it for the
world. Every night (almost) there comes a time when I roll
over to go to sleep or watch TV and he's not asleep yet and
he'll start messing with me. Maybe it's just a pop in the
ass, maybe it's just a poke in the arm, but it's something,
and he'll keep doing it until I finally respond. At that
point, we'll get to wrestling around. It always makes both
of us laugh and it's a great way to end a good or not so
good day. To just have that time to be childish, to have
fun, to just laugh about nothing in particular but being
with each other!
Last night he also later made a comment while we
watched "Who Wants to Marry My Dad?" He made the comment
that he shopped by looks. I said, Yeah, and look how far
that got you. (Admittedly, my self-esteem has never been
that good after my ex.) He asked me to repeat my
statement. I did. He told me "It got me a hell of a long
way, thank you! I picked you out from across the bar and I
wasn't even drunk!" It's times like that that keep me so
in love with him, even when he's a shit enough to tell one
of our neighbors that "She's just mad because she hasn't
gotten any, and she's not going to, either!" Thanks a lot,
you shit!
The other day, I ended my diary saying that it was going to
be one of those days. Well, I was right! Short version of
the story, my son went out to get our dog to come in from
outside (it was mid-day) and I was getting into the
shower. I hear him screaming like I've never heard him
scream, so I throw clothing on (just enough to cover the
important stuff), and run out there. What I see sends me
into complete animal mode. One of the pit bulls from next
door has gotten loose and is jumping all over my son. He's
standing, petrified in fear, the dog jumping up and just
clawing his back with our dog to his front, attacking the
dog each time he comes within reach. I grab the first
thing that I can get my hands on, a toy construction truck,
and go out there, screaming like a madwoman, "GET AWAY FROM
MY SON!!!!!!!" I hit the dog, get my son to the house,
examine the damage, and call my husband to get some
practical advice. Things calm down, I've talked to the
neighbors about their dog, etc., and a sherriff's deputy
comes to my house. Apparently 2 separate neighbors called
about a 'man' beating a dog at my house. HMMMMM, let's
see, nope, not the last time I checked! I beat the dog,
here's what he did to my son, I didn't hurt the dog in any
form, I just protected my son. The deputy is definitely
satisfied and moves on. But hey, I said it was going to be
one of those days, and ohhhhh, it was more than I even
expected!
Better run, later!