Jack's Twisted Kingdom
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2004-06-21 19:51:10 (UTC)

slighted by time

It was with great regret I must spend these last few days
with such new and great friends, and will not be able to
continue the great madness we have shared...

no more long nights of corousing, trying to date strange
and unatainable women, nor speak with the vagabonds
on the street who with barely a coherant word utter thier
odd prophesies of doom...

I’ll miss the new friends I’ve made here, but not the place..

actually, it’s funny, no place has seemed like home more,
than in the arms of a woman whom I’ve loved. I say this with
a tinge of melancholy, for I’ve not had any such in close to
three years.

kristen is long gone, in the arms of yet another doomed and
failing relationship, the second since we broke up oh so
long ago..

wow, october, 3 years.. yikes, has it been so long? i
wouldn’t count crystal nor michelle, as either among those
who i’ve loved. well, crystal I will always have a close
spot in my heart for, she and I were never really dating, we
had a special and somewhat, chaotic relationship. even when
she was dating someone else, she would invariably fall into
my arms, if for nothing else, than I wouldn’t treat her like
a cancer patient the way everyone else does...

i’ve been too attached some bizzare sense of unrealistic
views on women.. looking for that perfect one, and failing
to see the ones in front of me.. please, for the love of
gods.. if you see it... please, PLEASE, just take a 2x4
block of wood and smack the shit out of me.. I am sincere..

I don’t know, maybe this time, I will find someone to take
away those lonely nights, and find someone I can actually
confide in.

kristen, was good for that. I have found no acceptance from
any who’ve delved into the depths of my soul, save her, and
those to whom I call my brothers.. and now, from 3, to but
1, which is unfortunate...

i am not who I seem, and yet I am more than I let on.

let the masks fall where they may, i shall cleanse myself
upon the reef’s, the blood soaked shore will be my home...