Meesa and Leglin's secret pi

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2004-06-21 07:55:59 (UTC)

meg--" he collects his..

meg--"'he collects his lover..." says:
i had no idea....oh gods....leesa, i'm sorry, i'm so
sorry, i could carve out my heart for you but that
wouldn't make up for anything, i don't think there's
anything i can ever do to make up for what i' did. i never
knew, all i ever heard was that "stuff" had happened,
nobody ever told me specifically, if i had ever known i
would have never have said a single thing to aaron
meg--"'he collects his lover..." says:
i would have hated him, because leesa you know i love you,
you're my bestfriend, the best friend i could have ever
asked for, the best friend i could have ever even
immagined, but i didn't know and now i've hurt you like
how i can't even immagine pain, and that's the last thing
i ever would have wanted to do.
meg--"'he collects his lover..." says:
i don't know what to do, i just want to scream and kick
and claw and cry till there's nothing left of me. i wish i
could cut away my skin and soak myself in bleach, and even
still i wouldn't be clean again, even still it wouldn't be
enough, it wouldn't take back what happened or fix
anything. i don't know what to do. and for every bit of
pain and agony and frustration i feel you felt more
meg--"'he collects his lover..." says:
and i don't know if i'll ever be alright again, so how can
you ever be alright? how have you managed to function? how
did you even have the strength to hug me? i thought you'd
be mad at me because it meant nothing to me, but how could
you have hugged me when i was so filthy and wicked even
though i didn't know it at the time? why did you hug me?
meg--"'he collects his lover..." says:
why didn't you kick me in the face and tell me how stupid
and horrible i was? why didn't you tell me to start with?
how can we ever fix this? how can it ever be the same
again? it's like the world is playing some horrible joke
on us, and i don't think it can ever go back to normal. i
think i could throw up everything i ever ate and i'd still
feel sick.
meg--"'he collects his lover..." says:
and for everything i feel you must feel a million times
worse. why couldn't we all be in grade 7 when things were
easy and all there ever was was statistics, never faces to
go along with the numbers. i let him to do me what he did
to you while you were drunk, i've never been so disgusted
with myself, i don't think i've ever hated anyone as much
as i hate him.
meg--"'i hope you're happy when you're thinks of spit and
rape...you left a big black scar!" says:
i don't know if i can ever look at him again, and at the
same time i just want to tear him apart. he said lastnight
that he'd come by to talk about things, that was before
you even said 'hi' to me, and now he's going to be
confessing everything to me in painstaking detail before i
kick the shite out of him, he's going to regreat
everything he did to you and everything he has of a ugly
black heart
meg--"'i hope you're happy when you're thinks of spit and
rape...you left a big black scar!" says:
is going to be smashed to pieces by the time he leaves.
never again will i speak to him after this, i'm going to
make a big pile of everything i've ever associated with
him and i'm going to coat in in gas and burn it till
there's nothing left, not even a single ash, just black
black gunge, like what he's made out of. he's going to
wish he'd never been born. by hurting you he's hurt me
like nobody
meg--"'i hope you're happy when you're thinks of spit and
rape...you left a big black scar!" says:
else has ever hurt me before, and he's going to witness
all the wrath i can ever pour into somebody. but that
won't fix this, it won't even make a dent. and it's been
impossible to get hold of you, so i can't even appologize
to you verbally, though that's not enough either. i don't
know how you can ever forgive me or how i can ever forgive
myself.


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