Jan's Life
Ad 0:
2004-06-21 06:18:10 (UTC)

~*~ FiNaL TeSt ~*~

Okay... here I am. This is the final test. I talked to
Damian a couple weeks ago and I told him about the whole
kara and cory thing. And He told me he broke up with
her... so I thought... Perfect chance! So yeah, i told him
how I felt then yesterday he tells me him and kara are
back to dating again. Sooo... What do I do! I dont
knowif it was wrong of me to tell him what I thought about
him... How I still like him and want to be with him... or
if I should have just kept quiet. Because I have a feeling
hes going to lead me on... and stay with kara... Then
he'll have both things.. to hang out with me.. yet still
be with kara. I dont know... this is the final test tho if
he breaks up with kara. Ill start dating damian... kara
will hate me... but Ill finally have a boyfriend. I hope
that I can talk to him like I have been... I hope he likes
me as much as I like him.. I hope he wants to be with me
as much as I want to be with him. I seriously want to try
to have a real relationship.. Ive had fun hangin out with
friends but theres a place in your heart that friends just
cant fill. And its been empty so long, Ive been watchin
those sweet movies like 50 first dates.. and that movie
with Mandy Moore. That is what I want to feel! That
romance when you can just lay together and you never want
to leave. Or when you kiss them and you feel like
electricity is running through your body. I want to tell
him my fears, my wants, my needs... what makes me happy,
what makes me sad... I want to be so close to him and
share a bond that we both have never had. I want to go
places and spend quality time with him. I just want to be
loved, and to be affectionate. I think thats going to be
the hardest part for me is showing and explaining how I
feel. Its one of my biggest flaws and I know Ill have to
work on it... but this is a perfect chance! I really hope
I dont blow this! but ill keep lettin you know what
happens! but.. im going to go. byebye

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