Baptist baseball banalities
i finally got to go to a baseball game, thanks to sheila.
i forgot that baseball games consist of three groups of
people. the minorities who yell their lungs out for the
one guy named lopez on the team, the alcohlic dads who
yell at the players as if they were their own good-for-
nothing kids, and of course the baptists.
we were unfortunate to be seated in front of the local
baptist church. now i associate baptist church with fried
chicken and cool black people singing, "praise jesus";
instead what i got were two rows of obnoxious white
teenagers who couldn't have been biggerr assholes if they
tried. one of them introduced himself as "whit", which
was ironic cos that was the one thing he lacked. he
chatted to us in an overly friendly manner about every
banal thing that crossed his simple mind, then he hinted
towards whether or not we had the jesus monkey on our back
sheila being the god awful jewess that she is, told him
that she had knocked that monkey off her back years ago,
approximately 2,000 and i told him that i thought he
smelled like sin. seated with them was this retarded kid,
who was really cooler than all of them put together, or at
the very least, unless they didn't CONSTANTLY point out
that he was the retarded on of the group, you really
wouldn't have been able to tell.
they continually conjured up stupid cheers. they started
this clapping cheer or some shit like that, and by god
they were so loud that there was no way to ignore them.
we had a 1 year old baby with us (not ours but still) that
would literally shit herself when they started in their
now i really do respect organized religion, more than the
majority of people, but i can definetly see where this
hatred for established faith comes from. these people
were arrogant and self-absorbed. their quest for faith
lay simply within their selfish need to help others for
the soul reason of their own guilt. they are driven by
guilt. original sin. this is sin. that is sin. YOU ARE
GUILTY SO HELP OTHERS FOR YOU ARE BEYOND HELP! dictate to
others for you have lost all control over yourself.
other than them there was this office group, which meant a
group of people who just kind of new each other, with that
one embarrassing guy who gets drunk and really loves
baseball. he was tanked by the third and yelled the most
obscene things i've heard since that little ankle-biter at
the pool. he also made fun of the minorities who cheered
on loooooooopez. that's what he said when lopez came
up, "loooooooooooooooooooopez" in an exaggerated assholish
mexican accent. he looooooooooook, izzzzzz
looooooooooooooooopez. whoooooooop whooooop.
now i see why alcoholics love baseball. it's slow enough
so that you can black out for a couple of innings but also
sectioned enough so that you can truly single out and
blame one person. which makes it much easier if you are a
self-debasing alcoholic who looks to cut down others
because of your self-worth.
that's enough cynicism for today. the baby that sat with
us was cute. not cute in a cute way, but in the way she
acted. and amidst it's gurgling, screaming and random
bodily functions one couldn't really tell her apart from
the rest of the crowd...except of course that she was cute.