Meesa and Leglin's secret pi

moshing kiwis
2004-06-18 20:14:36 (UTC)

we come from the lands of the ice and snow

i'm not really in a writing mood today, it's so hot and
i'm packing today to go camping with my friends. i can't
believe my mom's letting me go. but i won't complain.
i can't believe i've gradded. i still have to do my
exams but still, i'm basically done. it feels good to have
it be summer now, i love the warmth, the long days and hot
nights. i can't wait to go to p-ville, see mac-man, orrin,
nancy, kav.....but especially mac. we've had a little thing
going on for the past few months, we messed around a month
ago when i was up there for the weekend. but he still has
his gf...i don't know where we'll go in the future, but
i've got some ideas. he suddenly seems more crazy about me
than i am about him, isn't that strange. i feel sort of
guilty when i go straight to bed without going on msn to
talk to him or even say "goodnight" or something, but it's
for his own good because he has to go to work early most
mornings. he's gotten a job roofing, so his hours are early
to avoid the heat. he seems to like it even though it's
hard, physical work...mmmm...he'll be even sexier than
usual. sha-wing! i really like him, i think i could
possibly fall in "love" with him, but right now i've been
so busy...and i refuse to care too much for someone who's
in a relationship, of course. i know it's been wrong for me
to even look at him, but i've stopped caring. i'm doing my
own thing and having fun, even if it's self-centered of me.
leesa's leaving to go to australia, which hasn't
really sunk into me. i know i'll miss her, but at the
moment it's like we're living in two different worlds, and
these worlds contradict each other. i guess that doesn't
make much sense, it's more like she's been different but
i've been different too. i don't think it's really so much
that we've grown apart, but that things have been very
weird when we hang out, it hasn't been like old times for
almost a year, in my opinion. something's been missing, and
so we're going sepparate ways for a while. maybe if we're
lucky we'll figure out some stuff and meet up again. that's
what i'm hoping for.
playing in battle of the bands was everything that
mattered this year at school. it meant more to me than any
of the grad stuff...i think i accomplished a fair bit in
art and music, even though i didn't win anything for my
writing this year, i think i've grown in intellegence and
creativity. it's been a pretty good year. i feel like if i
just stretch my fingers out i can grasp what's just out of
reach for me. i feel like i can be what i want to be, and
that i'm on the brink of something mind-blowing and
great...i'm doing all i can to get there faster, though i
get scared because it's not what i've ever known before. i
can almost taste it. this will be a very powerful year and
a very important summer, i think. but we'll see rather than
jump to expectations.
anyways, i've got to go do some clean up and some
packing so i'm off!