my thoughts and views and stuff
Ad 2:
2004-06-17 04:51:35 (UTC)


Sometimes life is a strange strange thing. infact most
of the time life is strange. things always work out in the
weirdest ways that dont make any sense at all at the time
yet when you are further down your life's road it seems to
make sense. anyways im done with my little thoughts.
So today was probably the slowest day of the summer. i
woke up early this morning and washed my uniform, got
ready to go, then i arrived at the hospital. I worked on
one of the nursing floors today and there was pretty much
nothing to do at all! i am doing this whole hospital thing
so that i can help people and be useful, yet somehow i do
not see how just sitting in a chair in the nurses station
is of help to anyone. maybe i am helping but i sure dont
feel like i am. so i got off about an hour early and went
down to the cafe and grabbed a bite to eat. i ate slowly
by myself and tried to make the time pass, yet it only
took me around 10 minutes to eat my food. I guess thats
what happens when i have to one to talk to while i am
eating. so i went up to the office and signed out 45
minutes earlier then i was supposed to sign out. then i
went out side and waited for zach to pick me up. in the
time i recieved a nice sun burn. I then proceeded to come
home and lay around doing absloutely nothing. Then my
mother came home and i wasnt exactly in the mood to talk
about anything so i went to the back of the house slept
until it was time for church. And thats about the extent
of my day. slightly boring ehh? im supposed to be getting
a job that pays soon so i can actually have some money.
that should be something else to keep my days rolling
fast. i know that im not supposed to wish my life away,
and im not, im simply wishing my days of stress over. what
is wrong with that? maybe i actually will look back over
these days and wish that i had them back because those in
the future are much more stressful but i sure hope not.
Most that i talk to say things WILL get better and they
have to be right. b/c if they aren't in a few years my
perminet residence may be a sanitarium. i know my problems
are very inferior to many others and i thank God that i
dont have those kinds of problems b/c im not that strong
of a person. i know that i couldnt handle weven 1/2 of the
load that most people carry. at least i have food,
clothing, shelter, and people who care about me. which is
more then millions of others can say for themselfs.
Anyway, i have gone back to my childhood dream of wanting
a pony. dont ask me why, b/c i have no other answer then
simply because i am me and i am weird as everyone that
knows me should by now know. And when i get my pony i want
to dye its hair odd and biazare colors. as long as the
animal rights people dont sue me for making my pony look
like i want it to. Maybe after i dye my pony i will put a
dress on it and name it denis rodman. who knows...it could
happen. i also want house to myself, doesnt mean i wanna
pay for it or keep it up. but i just want to be able to do
whatever i want with my room and hear about it from no
one. i want to be able to scream when i feel like it, sing
when i feel like it, dance like an idiot when i feel like
it and be by myself and have no one there to insult me
about it. So im pretty much sure that no one i know reads
these any more, or for that matter writes in the any more.
i could be the last of my kind. lol
sleep is a very odd state. i wonder why God created it.
One lies there in a state of motionlessness and is
completely unaware of there surroundings until there eyes
are opened again. maybe thats why i cant sleep, because i
always want to know what is going on around me. its not so
much that i am a busy body or anything, i just want to
know if anyone is out to get me or if i can help anyone. i
feel like sleep is a waste of valuable time that i could
be using to help someone else. and yes i am a paranoid
person. paranoid about everything, yet i have learned that
life goes on whether one is paranoid or not, if the are
optimistic or pesimistic. they are just 2 different views
on ones surroundings. So i am pretty sure i have rambled
enough...i just like i said was having a slow day and
couldnt think of anything to do besides ramble and i had
no one to ramble to so i wasted my finger energy to write
in here. therefore i am wrapping this up. later to all and
to all a good life.