taking heed

slightly exaggerated
2004-06-16 06:31:08 (UTC)

limbo scene

pretty much nothing has changed since the last entry. my
life is in shambles and i don't care enough to do anything
legitmate about it. my body is slowly crumbling away. i am
falling out of favour with my friends and i don't blame
them. my social life consists of going to my weekly
counselling and employment searching appointments. and i
spend countless hours daily wasting my brain playing this
video game, far and away the awesomest thing i have going
at the moment. during the nights after bingeing in front
of the monitor, i throw on the hot water music and clamily
drift off admist the stagnet air of this room. I've always
had a tough time of it but this takes the prize. never
have i felt so mind-numbingly apathetic for such an
extended period. I guess this is what they call 'hard rock
bottom'. Two days ago was the anniversay of the best day
of my life and it only ended up serving my cold present
reality on a plate for comparison purposes mostly. what a
difference a year makes. difference as in subtraction. oh,
and self-slander usually gets me in trouble.


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