Life Is A Series Of Questions
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It's 5:27 in the morning...
I talked to my good friend Doug for over an hour and by
doing that, missed my chance to talk to Jason. :( I also
talked to Roger tonight. He was in a rather up-beat mood
and was very friendly.
I'm not the least bit tired and know today I have to take
the driving test to get my license. (i know! almost 20 and
don't have my license?! I was in boarding school and had
no use for a car so I didn't bother getting the license to
drive one.) I hope this energy keeps up for the test. I
don't want to fall asleep at the wheel and end up flunking
and killing the lady/man testing me. That would be very,
very bad. I may try to nap a little before my father comes
to wake me. Take my contacts out and let them rest a
I watched some videos of Kirk Hammett (sigh!) and his evil
bestfriend, Lars. (ick!) They entertained me quite well
while everyone else slept. Kirk is becoming more of a
person to me instead of a God, which is good. He has more
real characteristics in my head now since I watched all
those videos on Met.com of him. I may not actually freak
out if I meet him. I might actually be relaxed and mellow.
Go figure! His wife is so beautiful too. I crush on her
sometimes and find myself wondering why I do that? She has
the best man on Earth! Why would she ever look twice at
me? I can dream tho. mmmmmm...Lani! hehe
Listening to Tom Petty right now. Dog is wondering why I'm
awake. I maybe keeping her up. Smoked my last cigarette I
think. 3 hours until my father wakes up.
No one on the metboard and it creeps me out when it's like
this. Just dead...
Kirk used to post on it way back in the day, Jason says. I
would have loved to post in a thread he made. He would
have made the best threads since he's so quirky! That
would have been a lot of fun, but I'm fine with the
craziness of some of my fellow wastelanders. They make up
quite nicely for the lack of Metallica members...hehe.
Sweet people. Especially Karen, Spiffy, Mikey 1 and 2,
Jason (LOVE HIM!), Morgy, Corey, and Crazyelderwoman. If
only I met people like them in real life. I'd have so many
friends, but for now, I only have one bestfriend. Amanda,
the southern belle. Sucks to be a loner sometimes.
I miss highschool some. Things were constant then. I never
had to wonder what the next day would bring. it was
already planned for me. Military school kept everything on
a schedule. Never slept in. Never stayed up late. Always
did things as I was told. Got rank for being good and
medals as well. Always felt like I had achieved something.
Was one of the best speakers on the Debate and Speech
Team. Was the Disciplinary officer. Got the purple heart
association medal and went home a Captain. Was in the
school play and chorus. Did a solo during senior christmas
concert and my dad recorded it and showed the whole
family! I may have been a fuck up, but at least dad had
something to brag about. I could sing. Now I smoke my
voice away and sit on my ass like it was going to save my
Sun's almost all the way up. 5:42 AM.....
If only I had made the grades to get into a decent
college. if only I had stayed in college! If only I was a
success, my life wouldn't be so boring as it is today. My
dad wouldn't think his daughter is a train wreck. What I
would do to be the smartest, most social, prettiest, most
normal daughter there was! Why'd I have to be
born "eccentric"? It's great to be unique, but no one pays
you to be it.
"When you do the right thing, No one knows if you did
anything at all"- Futurama
Learning to fly- Tom Petty- Playing now. Time marches on
and still I sit here, pondering how to be a better person.
How to make my father proud. I can't fail that driving
test!!!! That's a good step in the right direction! Maybe
sleep will prevent failure. Lemme try that... ;)