Too Much to Say
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2004-06-13 14:38:00 (UTC)

just when i thought it couldn't get any worse

there's this chris rice song called "8th grade," and
when i first heard it i thought it was kinda cheezy. but
when i listened to it again i really liked the whole point
of the song. he talks about how he wants to go back to 8th
grade because everything was so much simpler. he uses my
new favorite lyric:

"why does the past always seem safer
maybe because at least we know we made it
and why do we worry about the future
when every day will come just the way the lord ordained it"

i don't even know what i want to say. all i know is that i
feel sick and anxious 24/7 and i just want to go back to a
time when every thing was simpler. i want it to stop!
ironically, my favorite bible verse:

Phil 4:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by
prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your
requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends
all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in
Christ Jesus."

God's the only one who will never break my heart.
therefore he's the only one i should ever wholly give it
to. whether he wanted it or not, i gave aaron my heart a
long time ago and i've never gotten it back.

lord, you are my number one. help me to trust in
you. help me to be patient. help me to honor you. i am
nothing without your guidance. make me a servant.

Phil 2:4
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit...each
of you should look not only to your own interests, but also
to the interests of others."

as a citizen of the world, i had every right. as a child
of god...i failed. i long to be like a character in my
favorite book.