forever 17

silent wishes
Ad 2:
2004-06-13 05:12:31 (UTC)

"Ode To The Nice Guys"

this is something i found on a webiste my friend showed
me (
[[sorry, i have no idea how to put hyperlinks in this
thing]] but anyway, on with the writing, or...ranting as it
seems to be caled:

" Ode to the Nice Guys
(This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that
finish last, that never become more than friends, that
endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes
guys are, while disproving the very point. This is
dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to
lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those
guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the
back and sit patiently outside the changing room at
department stores. This is in honor of the guys that
obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy
their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because
they know most girls need that litany of support. This is
in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back
attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the
guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to
her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered
female friends back from parties and never take advantage
once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls
to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male
population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for
compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who
always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor
cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend
material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all
the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and
unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated,
misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your
cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three
hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend
said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her
boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it
was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for
that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that
romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most
repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought
it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you
paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a
counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for
that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows
that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you,
she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer
was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying
each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to
everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you
were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego,
you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due.
And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to
get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could
logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have
observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to
friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only
conclusion I can form is that many girls are just
illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they
just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such
a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such
as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good
boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with
so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the
most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our
friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of
datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-
date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men
that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my
ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection
breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and
what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass
now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-
finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are
definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought
and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking
them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls,
and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all
the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick
of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the
truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in
the department store, your holding open of doors, your
party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker
for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things
you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the
faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement,
and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in
this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003 "

yea. amen to that. anyway, i liked that and figured i'd
plague you with it. enjoy!

forever 17