Angel

Heart broken

Things have been really good between me and Tommy, and I
thought we made it afther all, even though it was thought
to learn he was not in love with me anymore. We had some
god times, some bad times, some great times and some even
worse times.
All that was missing was for him to say I LOVE YOU, the
spesial way. (Im gonna write with capital letters when I
mean the special one, and smal letters when I mean the
familiy one, som you wont be confuesed by the fact that my
language has two diffrent ways of love)

Two satturdays ago I fould out that Tommy did not LOVE me,
I dont even remeber how it happend anymore.
Then last sunday it came out that he did not feel in love
with me eather!!
I broke down to tears, he did not come to comfort me, I
wanted to escape but figured I would only regret it later,
I wanted to find out everything.
I said but you said that you loved me two times afther you
sais you didnt. One the 6.th og January when me made love,
you said its only the girl I lLOVE and feel in love with
that Im wanna make love to. The second time was when I
asked if you LOVED ME? You said yes, I asked why you never
said it, and you said you couldnt, I asked why and you said
you didnt know.
Tommy said he didnt remember any of these events.
Then I mentioned that he had said and answerd if I asked
him manny times that he feelt he was in love with me, like
this easter, and I asked if this was not true eather?
It had been true, he does feel like hes in love with me
somethimes, but it goes back and forwards, comes and goes.

I feelt so stupid, how could I belive someone LOVED ME, was
in love with me and they where not???? I was devestaed,
cryed a lot, my heart is broken.
I asked what we should do? Tommy did not know, he sais its
up to me now.
He dont want us to split up, he said he would be terrible
sorry if that happend. He want to feel those things for me,
he just cant. I asked if he ever done it? he said yes, and
when I ask if he think its possible the feelings will come
back, hes not sure.

Im trying to figure out the right thing to do. I LOVE HIM,
Im in love with him and want him with all my heart. When I
was a child I always fantasied and hoped to meet the man of
my dreams, and to be LOVED. Now it seems like I have to
chose.
Tommy wants a future with me, us moving tougether, have
children, how can he want children with someone he dont
LOVE??

I dont want to do somthing I might regret later, so Im
gonna take my time to figure out what to do.
We`re still thougether, but we dont have sex, Im sure he
wants to, but I cant.

Angel