Deacon Frost

"Don't go through a fucking preamble, just tell me what's on your mind"

Here it is, a half a year again since I've written in this
thing. Part of me wants to say, "nothing much to write",
and that is true, for the most part. A lot of chapters in
life have come to an end in the last few months...some of
which I'm grateful for, others which I'm saddened by.

I received a settlement on my grandmother's estate this
past week...there will never be anything else from her.
I'm not talking money, just what it meant I guess...no
visits to her house, no more of her food, her time. That
had been a big part of my life once, what happened to it?

My bother-in-law past away a couple of months ago from
cancer. People keep asking me how my sister's taking it.
I really don't know, you can't tell anything by looking at
her, and the family did have some time to prepare. Still,
what do you do when the only thing you know is gone?

Something else that I had not been able to talk about from
some time came to a climax a few months ago. And while I
am now in the clear, and feeling much better about my life
for it, there is this sense of loss.

So many things have kept my mind so preoccupied over the
last two years; so many things that have slowly crept away
from me, that now for the first time, I'm free to see
what's going on around me. Unfortunately for me, it's not
much of anything. There's nowhere to go after work,
nothing to go home to, no real reason to get any work
done. So what do I do now? Where do I go from here. I
don't know, and until I do, I drive around aimlessly
looking for something...looking for someone.