kiddo16

NaivetY & ChildhooD LefT BehinD
2004-06-08 04:13:38 (UTC)

...Sincerity Doesn't Come Easy...

Yesterday was somehow made to be a day to remember. While
my elder brother busily preparing for his 'National
Service', I am buzily preparing myself for school.
The orientation was nothing much of an eye-opening and to
remember though. I should say its damn boring. However, I
appreciated the efforts made by the students' union.
Well yesterday too, I've made extra effort to fight
against myself in wearing a cover-up. It's so hard. It
seems that my friends couldn't take the impression I had
made.
There seems to be a gap between me and them. Not only to
the non-muslims but also, to the muslims. I thought that
they could understand but my jugdment was wrong. They
don't understand. All they thought was I am trying to make
an impression. As though I am not acting like myself.
Maybe I am not, but maybe I am. I don't why the way I am
dressed disturbed people around me. But now, all I know
starting from yesterday, I am supposed to cover-up
whenever I went. Its kind of hard to swallow this fact. My
heart still denies me of wearing the cover-up but my mum
told me it's an obligation for me as I have made a wish to
wear it if I were able to enter polytechnic.
Now all I know I am not mentally prepared to wear a cover-
up. Therefore, for now I wear it because it's an
obligation and kinda of force. It does not sincerely comes
from my heart.




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