polyester bride

The Blue of my Oblivion
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2004-06-07 02:18:50 (UTC)

I'm a sucker for your lucky, pretty eyes

Just to clarify, I changed my name from not-so-beautiful
disaster to polyester bride because I just HAD to get away
from all the girls and boys who had their names set as,
i.e. iHaTeMyLiFe and PuNkRoCkCuTiE69. Gross. I hate that.

I changed it to polyester bride after the Liz Phair song.
I like Liz Phair a lot, how strong she is. I'm pretty fond
of most female artists, with the exception of the bubbly
pop artists who sell records by 'accidentally' showing
their nipples and having sex on stage. They are trying to
be these teen icons and role models for girls and then they
dress like prostitutes. They are supposedly the voices of
our generation, and that is total bull. They do NOT speak
for me. When they act like whores, they're saying it's okay
for people to call us whores, and that's not okay.
Basically, if they keep showing us their asses, I'm going
to have to start shoving my foot up some.

So today was pretty uneventful. I woke up around twelve
then went grocery shopping so I don't have to keep eating
poptarts for dinner. Then I just lounged around all day,
did some art and whatnot. My photography class is a week
away, and so this week is going to torture me slowly. I'm
almost a little bit skeptical about next week. I always get
nervous when I get shoved in a room full of strangers. I
have this feeling they're all judging me. And then I tend
to not really give people a chance, so if people start to
fuck with me I'm going to let them know. It'll probably get
me in trouble, but I'm going to the class to learn more
about my passion, not to be social.

I'm feeling a lot better about the breakup these days.
We're talking and having normal conversations. I think
we're both warming up to the idea of being just friends.
Last night we were talking and I asked him how he was
feeling since I knew he'd been feeling pretty rotten, and
he said it was the usual. That meant he was feeling like a
rock still. He asked me, "do you know what I felt when we
broke up?" and I said, "I don't know, nothing?" "Exactly,"
he said. And that hurt me a lot, knowing that I was going
through all of this shit and he wasn't feeling a single
thing. But it seems like he's feeling better today, and I'm
feeling relieved that I am, for the most part, over it all.
I've been keeping myself busy with reading, films, music,
and working on the computer. I made a desktop out of David
Julian illustrations. He is quite possibly my favorite
photographer ever. Mm I love him.

My Sky baby is back in town. He's living with his dad
again, and he and Trey called me today asking me to come
over. I never went because they never called me back. I've
been so worried about my Sky baby since he got kicked out,
and I was getting irritated when he kept moving around to
all these different places. I'm glad he's back home and I
might go over there tomorrow to see how he's doing.

Okay so I'm going to go find something else to do. I've
been in this chair for most of the day. Sorry this was a
boring entry. This summer is not providing interesting
adventures. I'll have to go exploring.

Spent.

------------------------------------------------------------

lyric of the day:

I was talking not two days ago
To a certain bartender I’m lucky to know
I asked henry my bartending friend
If I should go on dating unfamous men

And henry said
You’re lucky to even know me
You’re lucky to be alive
You’re lucky to be drinking here for free
Cause I’m a sucker for your lucky pretty eyes

And then he said
Do ya wanna be a polyester bride
Do ya wanna hang your head and die
Do ya wanna find alligator cowboy boots they just put on
sale
Do ya wanna flap your wings and fly
Away from here

I was sitting not two days ago
Feeling lonely cause I’m just feeling low
And I asked henry my bartending friend
Why is it that there are those kind of men

And henry said
You’re lucky to even know me
You’re lucky to be alive
You’re lucky to be drinking here for free
Cause I’m a sucker for your lucky pretty eyes

And then he said
Do ya wanna be a polyester bride
Do ya wanna hang your head and die
Do ya wanna find alligator cowboy boots they just put on
sale
Do ya wanna flap your wings and fly
Away from here

Cause you’ve got time
He keeps telling me
You’ve got time
But I don’t believe him
You’ve got time
Keep on pushing harder
I keep on pushing farther away
He keeps telling me maybe
He says maybe

Do ya wanna be a polyester bride
Do ya wanna hang your head and die
Do ya wanna find alligator cowboy boots they just put on
sale
Do ya wanna flap your wings and fly
Away from here

-Liz Phair, "Polyester Bride"


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