polyester bride

The Blue of my Oblivion
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2004-06-05 18:53:39 (UTC)

Tomorrow is a privilege

I know that I shouldn't base my life on this
relationship, on this guy. I know that guys will never
cease to disappoint me, and that they are only reassurence
to girls that they are still attractive. I have been raised
on the principle that the sky is the limit. I can do
anything, even fly, if I want it bad enough. I want to be
happy, and I know that deep down I am very happy, I'm just
hurting right now. I keep thinking, oh you know what? I'm
over it. I am done with this, I am done with him, I don't
like him anymore. And then I get over here to the computer
and I see them both (Applex and Tess) signed on, and I want
to talk to them, but I cannot break into their world, and I
get sad again. And I know that I'm not over it, over him.
She never used to be online this much.

And he's in a funk right now. He is a shell of a person
he says, a rock, he has no feelings. But I know that isn't
true or else why would he be so upset? Something is bugging
him, but I know him, and I know that he likes to be alone
when he's angry, and that he certainly does not like to
talk about his feelings. Wow, he just signed on an old
screen name, his profile still says I Love Hannah. I wonder
how long it'll be before he realizes it's there. Anyway,
he's in a rough place too, I just wish I could help him. I
want to be able to hug him and tell him everything is gonna
be all right. That's what I've wanted to do forever.

We all just have to take each day as it comes. Our world
is not crumbling, our dreams are not fading, our stars are
not exploding. I only wish I could follow my own advice.


Quote of the day:

"Tomorrow is a privilege, so you gotta live life, ya know?
Like you don't get a tomorrow." - Frankie from the Real
San Diego