george

the entries
2004-06-04 10:06:36 (UTC)

another day meanders by

party tomorrow.
there are lots of parties on at the moment.
oh well.
too many.
some hot chick at school, i wanna ask her out on a date
but im too afraid she'll reject me. im a bloody wimp at
times.
not to mention, not being over my last girl friend.
i tried to pick up at a party and found myself backing out
of it coz i cant stop thinking about her.
what am i gonna do.
i almost felt as though i was cheating......
i gotta get over this. we didnt stay together that long.
but it ment a fair bit to me. im not sure about her, she
flirts all the time. she stopped talking to me when i
asked her back last week.
we used to do so much together, we'd never go a day
without talking,holding hands, kissing, many other naughty
things that could turn this jernal erotic.......
now she seems to forget to answer when i say hello.
thats it! i have gotta get over this!
im gonna pick up at this damn party or im gonna drink till
im soba and drunk all over again. yee ha.

i got asked by some girl if she could warm my sleeping bag
tomorrow. with me in it too of course! sounds ok.
i need some lovin, i recon. or im gonna go mental.
i wish that other girl was gonna go to the party, the one
i wanna ask on that date. she's fine, she might like me to!
we danced for hours the other night, she keeps on telling
me she wants to dance again. she's good at dancing. im
not, but she just laughs and keeps asking for more dances,
so i dont realy care what the other guys recon.
i've never done that sorta thing, asked some one out like
that.
"hey, wannah go for a soda" sounds like the brady bunch to
me...... i hate that show.

shit! i dont usualy write this much!
its cool writting about your self. your never sure whats
gonna come out.

but amother thing i've been craving lately is something
physical, like violence. restling or fighting. its not
fair when your about to fight, and then the action stops
before you wannah stop. like some guy was gonna hurt my
mate with a pole. i was ready to smash him, but it was
better to spend the hour and a half talking him out of it.
i dont recon he would of done it, he would plainly go and
do it if he realy wanned to. he's the kinda guy who could,
but there was four of us, three of which train. the other
is pretty well always ready for a fight, he would of died.
so the only thing close to fighting lately is sparing,
which my instructor said im not doin too badly at. he said
im over ready for my next belt. im so excited!
well im gonna go and get ready for tomorrow.
but i wanna writ mooooooooooooore.
ah ha. i know, ill tell ya about my dream.
it started of with my x walking off on me as if she just
dumped me. then i was all crying and stuff when i met her
friend who stoped me and started crying ands crying, we
were both crying and crying, eventualy i stopped crying
and she kept going, so i talk her into my arms and held
her, while she sobbed, i felt so tired (in a dream would
you beleive)then she bit my cheek, i got realy startled.
she bit again, but this time she started kissing me. i
couldnt help my self. i think that part of the dream ment
i had to get over my x. then came the violent part, which
happens in all of my dreams. i had finished having the
most beutiful kiss in my life. when two fellas bang the
doors open, coz we where at a dance and every one was
wearing suits and stuff. we where sitting out side in the
cold, black night. well they bang it open and walk past, 3
of em.
there about a k off when dad comes around the building,
grabs me from the girl in my arms and tells me those
fellas are after mum. we jump in the car and follow them,
but we lose them and have to get petrole. when we get out
of the car two of the fellas come out of the night with
chain saws. dad tells me to get in the car but i tell him
not to worry and pick up a short stick and go at the guys.
i stop before we clash thogh and drop my wepon, or more it
just dissaperes, i say to myself im better without it.
dads already taken one on and his puttin a few thumps into
one guy, wich in real life, he'd never do. i get the
other. but when ever i hit him, my hand is holding the
short stick at the last instent.
when we'd taken them out, dad and i get back in the car
and we drive to my grand perents place. there we find the
guy about to enter. i charge up at him, dad cant coz he's
got a limp, in real life too. when i take him, there not
much that he can do. i keep hitting him and hitting him,
but my arms felt so weak, i thought i'd punched him enough
when he gets back up, grabs a stick and carges toward the
house, were i can hear mum screaming at the sight of him
through the door way. dad at this time is trying to hold
back a police officere for some reason. well i grab hold
of him and do the same thing. hit him and hit him, and hit
him until eventualy he goes down, but he gets back up,
blood running every where down his face. i was feeling so
desperate to make sure he didnt get in at mum that the
stick came back into my hand and i just didnt stop putting
it into his head until he was still all over. horribal,
but its not over.
dad crys look behind me and i see a moary woman with a
meshety and a dislocated leg that she still seems able to
run on. i charge after her, im not at all scared of wepons
at this stage. but as im almost close enough to grab her
she turns around a corner, when iget around the corner,
she's too far away, i keep running when i get a bit closer
am back were i began with her so far ahead. i could see
her about to open the door. to get to mum. i scream "NO!"
and wake up strait as a tac, listening to the remaining
echo of my scream. yes that was scary. but it reminds me
of how much i love my mum.




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