polyester bride

The Blue of my Oblivion
2004-06-01 04:08:01 (UTC)

"I want to save you"

I'm trying not to feel like I'm this rebound-crazy child.
It's like a curse. I look around and see guys and I'm like
boyfriend material? Maybe? It's insane, I can't stop
thinking about anything else but being in a relationship.
That's probably due to having been in one for so long and
finally being free. But I don't know what to do with my
freedom. Calling it freedom makes it sound like I was
trapped before. I wasn't. Maybe freedom isn't the right
word.

I'm oblivious to the fact that I'm actually free to, quote
unquote, pimp as I please. That sounds nuts, seeing as how
I just explained this curse I am burdened by, but it's
true. It's just...it's just weird. I know he's gonna make
his next girlfriend extremely happy, now that he's gone
through this trial and error thing with me. That's one
thing that makes me so upset, that we hit one rough spot
and he just decided it couldn't be fixed. He couldn't work
it out with himself, he had to end the whole thing. Well
whoever that lucky lady is that gets him next, DUCK AND RUN
BABY!

So I was reading this Bryan kid's diary. It's scary because
our thought processes are so much alike (he even writes
about Something Corporate, my favorite band). Then my curse
kicks in and I'm like wow this guy is so awesome! But then
I get sad when I read about this girl he loves and then I
have to think, "you dork, you don't know him!" and ugh.

I'm a mess.

I'm a freaking raving, ranting lunatic.

------------------------------------------------------------

lyric for today:

standing on the edge of morning
scent of sex and new found glory
playing as she's pulling back her hair
she drives away, she's feeling worthless
used again but nothing's different
she'd stay the night but knows he doesn't care

home by three
deafening quiet
the porch light's off
yes, they forgot it
she'd cry herself to sleep
but she don't dare
and she wants to be a model
she wants to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you to save me too
i want to save you

dressed by dawn and out the door
no lights, she memorized the floor
so she could leave without being detected
she works till three, it's uniform
she dreams that he'll come by the store
she prays for days when boys mean she's protected
and she wants someone to see her
she needs to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you

and she won't sleep
she won't sleep
and she won't sleep
at all

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you
let me save you

-Something Corporate, "I want to save you"




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