evil_love_beyond17
the hell i have created
no end to my thoughts 2003-07-02 5:23 p.m.
o wow look anoutha entry well i was debating wit my selfe
fot about a good hr lasr night and that was to go n get
icecream or not for this delish apple dumpln i had in my
freezer... well i finally got up n went n boy m i glad i
did hehe i needed to get out of the house n away from my
computer so i wouldnt have the opt. to talk to tyler n e
more.. ugh its anoying lol and the only person who really
understands what i am going though is going though it wit
me and thats kaila ever sence me and her ment my guy(tyler)
and hers (adam) they acted the same , wanted the same
things,put us though the same hells lol and made us feal
emotionaly the same .... i do recall one thing i said to
kaila when he and adam were on the verg of break up i told
her kaila do what ever flots your boat and adam is sinking
it so tell him to get the HELL out if it heheh n i think i
needed to folow my owne advice a long time ago wit tyler i
think when i told him it was over and i didnt want to speak
to him ne mroe that thats what i should have dont it would
have saved me alot of heart ach and alotta paine.... ty is
jsut one of then gus who has a awsom outside but a bitter
inside.. i admit my inside aitn all that great ither
beacuse i have been playd in alotta my relationships n
ALWYAs got the shit end of it all!!n yet again tyler is
anouther guy to add to the ppl who have helpted to creat my
BITCHEY black and helped create my TUFF outer skin.. well
ill babble more later i have to make some supper cuz aint
no one else here gonna make it for me (CuZ ThErE AiNt No
OnE HeRe) hehehehehehe/PP/PPfate is a funny
thing????
ah well again im back ...sittn here kinda board lookn
ova one ov my outher diary sights i used to have ...and
trying to figure out how to chance the template...thinkn
bout u know who (of corse no shock to u )
ok man i am insane.... i was watching the mivie Big Fat
Greek weding(sucked) n i got sooo hungry for some durt
pudding(oreao pudding for u non southern upbringing ppl) n
i call my grandma get the recipe n she insisted on takn me
to the stor n not lettn me walk lol soo she comes n gets me
im walkn round the stoor n got hit on but 3 guy (yes they
were my age lol n decent lookn ) that made me feal pretty
good tho i was at the store buying all this food thats
gonna make me fat hehe ne way i got one of the guys
numbers .. i think im going to call him on the 4th to see
if he wants to do somethn .. i really dont need anouther
relationship now but.....just someone to mess wit to get my
minde off ty u gurls know how that is =) n after i got
done makn my dirt puddin i went outside n what i saw broke
my heart,,,chase was outside in the street wit thease ppl
who he knows fucked him over bad n used him for his car...
well next think you know they all pile in his car...n i
jsut thought omg man this is sad why is he doing this to
him selfe all over again cuz i know for a fact they were
not around when he didnt have his l's but now that he has
them back they wanna be his friend and of corse there gonna
sit there n tell him "no no chase we never used u for ur
car no no" when knowing damn well they did.. but o well
thats on chase . i jsut feal sorry for him .. theres nuttn
i can say or do cuz he never lisns to me
and then mike called me today our convos are gettn "weird"
dont know how to explane it hehe but like convo went dead n
we both made the mose sorryest excuses to get off the
phone.. things have changed sence he left on vaca?? but o
well maby things will get on track once he gets home...
speaking of track my life seams not to have one it just
goz! i wish it had ont i tryed to put it on one but ppl
just wouldnt let it be maby that means im not as strong of
a person i think i am ...
n damn my arm itches soo much i dont know what the hell is
up wit it lol i know this is off sub but hey this thing is
for my thoughts and fyour gonna be reading it u must
realyize i am a verry random person .. lol took you long to
figure that out didnt it...i wish the diary page had a
counter on it so you could see how many ppl were at your
page it would be pretty cool! but we dont get one ehh
i think im rightn in this alot cuz my Xprofile is down for
EveE n it sucks beacuse that was my pride n joy.. i really
need to foot the bill and pay for a web page of my owne
insted of thease free ones that alwase seam to be down or
clozing and whoop there goz all the stuff you made and ugh
thats anoying...yes yes im babbling so im going to cut this
off till tomrow unless i get board again n decide to add
anouther part to this entry
*~AshleE~*
2003-07-02 5:23 p.m.
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