RazberrySwirlz

~*TwAnGdOoDlEz*~
2004-05-29 10:42:35 (UTC)

i like these.

i lost my internet for awhile.. grrr... addicted to
this damned machine. lol things have improved w/ jason
a little.. they're slowly going back to the way the were.

--------------

I think I'm paranoid

You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove

I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulated

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole

I think I'm paranoid
Manipulated
I think I'm paranoid
Too complicated

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

I think I'm paranoid
I think I'm paranoid

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's alright

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's alright

Medication

I don't need an education
I learnt all I need from you
They've got me on some medication
My point of balance was askew
It keeps my temperature from rising
My blood is pumping through my veins

Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
Nobody gives a damn about me
Or anybody else

I wear myself out in the morning
You're asleep when I get home
Please don't call me self defending
You know it cuts me to the bone
Though it's really not surprising
I hold a force I can't contain

Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
Nobody gives a damn about me
Or anybody else

And still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you lay the blame on me
And still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you lay the blame on me

Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
I've got to make a point these days
To extricate myself

Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
Nobody gives a damn about me
Or anybody else

And still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you lay the blame on me
And still you call me co-dependent

Somehow you lay the blame on me
Somehow you lay the blame on me
Somehow you lay the blame on me

----------

it's 3:36am. he's been gone since about 7pm. earlier
today, he left a little after 11am, said he was going to
pick up his friend paul. he took shayleen's homework w/
him.. i should have known he was planning to be gone for
awhile. he finally came home a little after 5pm. just
in time for dinner, no doubt. god i hate him so much
sometimes. sometimes i wish he'd just leave me for
someone else. it'd be so much easier to get over. im
sick of crying. started cutting on my arm again... well,
if u can call it cutting.. havent done it in a month,
give it time, the scratches will get deeper. takes time
to build up the nerve. im sick of everyone saying im
suicidal.. i dont want to kill myself!!! i never
will!! i'm so tired of everything. i wish i had
someone who loved me... someone to hold me when i cry.
tell me everything's going to be alright, as corney as it
sounds. i cant live like this. he's killing me. i'm
not strong enough to leave. why wont he??

----------


it's 11:26pm, saturday. i'd forgotten ta come back and
tell you what time he finally decided to come home. just
a little after 11:30am. he didnt think he did anything
wrong. blamed it on me. i wish he'd just leave..


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