The Darkness Within

Dancing Nude
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2004-05-28 02:14:16 (UTC)

still here

ok, so first of all I would like to apologize for the last
entry. I had just found out some rather disturbing news,
and wasn't exactly myself. Though to be honest I think
that to an extent I have lost sight of who "myself" is.
Enough moping though. I do that enough on a daily basis,
and lets face it, there are soooo many people out there
that have it so much worse. That said, it's only natural
to look at your own misfortunes as being monumental. Thank
you though for the feedback...and as soon as I get the time
I will be sure to look up your site! In case any of you
missed the last entry...I was informed of the fact that I
have numerous cystes throughout my head region...and a few
small ones located in my brain. They seem to think that
the ones located in my brain my dissapate on their own
given time, and I would rather they did truth be known. I
am not all too fond of the idea of being cut
open...especially concerning my brain...I had a friend
who's father had to have a procedure done to his frontal
lobe, and the guy lived, but remembered nothing. He had to
be taught how to talk and eat, and's been at
least 16 years now, and he is basically a big kid. I am
just terrified that something like that could happen to
me. Then to top all off, my mother was just told, that not
only does she have a heart problem, but she also has two
discs in her lower back that have basically
dissappered..and one that is on her spinal cord. All in
all, it has been a rough month for us medically. I went
over when I found out the news to find her on the phone in
tears...I tried to make her smile, and even joked that
maybe this was someones way of giving us a
cooking, cleaning, laundry...just sitting in a hospital bed
and being waited on hand and foot, and we could be That's me, the ever strong cornerstone.
That said, there was at least one good thing this best friend in the wole world got married.
Yes, for those of you have been reading the saga all was Orion and Jenny. Though you all know how I
feel about the "relationship" to begin with I am totally
sure that he and Jenny will make a real effort to work past
all of the past shit that they have done and form a
somewhat normal, and loving family. I was the best man at
this event...which threw everyone off, but female or not, I
am after all Orion's best friend. The reception was
interesting as I noticed that the party seemed to be a bit
segregated. Groom's family in one corner...brides in
another...groomsmen and their dates, and then the bride and
the bridesmaids on their own. A bit odd, but hey, no one
objected, so it was all good. They headed back down to
Virginia...and for all I know are unpacking as I speak. I
wish them both the best of luck, and they both know that if
for whatever reason things get to them, they can both call
me to bit^% about eachother!lol. I also went to a party
after the wedding with a bunch of my old college
friends...okay, well about two were actual friends, and one
was an ex- fiance' turned great friend, and a witch and
the"jew". Now before you guys go and jump down my
throat...the one is an actual witch ( or so she thinks) and
the other is an actual Jew. ( lol ) The reason that I
referred to her in that way is that quite simply that was
her nickname...we had a few Kimmie's in our circle..and
Kim, Kimmie, and Kimmie 2 wouldn't do! So, we began
referring to her as the Jewish Kimmie, and somehow it got
cut down throughout the year. She was fine with it as it
isn't any type of a slur..she is a Jew, and we loved her...
with the exception of when she was being her stupid drugged
up hippe self...though she did introduce us to the
yumminess that is Matzo Ball any rate. The party
was cool, until I got a call about my wicked mother in law,
and became so infuriated that I had to leave the party and
go for a walk, because I was in tears. Then my ex talked
to me for a while and made it all better. I forgot how
great it is to have someone that is so dam% innocent and
funny around when you need cheering up. I wonder if he was
wearing diapers? any rate, ought to go for now..write
more later.

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