drunkin_punkin

my boring ass life
2004-05-25 17:15:02 (UTC)

leaving me

my boyfriend is going to his cousins' wedding in utah on
thursday. he's going to be gone for 5 days. :(

it's going to suck. i told him before he goes he has to
get my alot of alcohol. lol.

i'll be drinking by myself for 5 days straight. i guess i
could use that time to look for a job..................nah.

i think i kind of like being miserable, isolating myself in
the apartment all day and night. it's comfortable. it's
what i'm used to....bad excuse i know.

------------------------------------------------------------

it sucks being in love at such a young age. at the age of
19, you're supposed to be hanging out with friends,
partying and having fun.

my dumb ass started taking shit too seriously too quickly.
i got rid of all of my guy friends and my few female
friends because all they basically did was hang out with
guys.

i guess i didn't want to be put in the position where i
would even think about cheating on josh. it's weird
because with all of my exes, i didn't give a shit.

i mean, i only cheated on one of them because he was an ass
hole, i would hang out with guys and drink with them, smoke
with them....whatever.

but as soon as i meet josh everything changed.

i regret changing almost everything in my life for him.
i've been thinking about it and i think that if i run into
a guy i used to kick it with, i'll talk to him. i know now
that i'd never cheat on josh, but at the beginning i didn't
know if i was strong enough.

i think i'm going to go finish off my so.co.
mmmmmmmmmmm....




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