The Life of a Teenage Girl
2004-05-23 15:23:28 (UTC)

Sunday Morning 5-23-04 8:03 A.M.

Dear Journal,
Well lately I have been so confused, which is why I
have decided to start this whole thing all together. I
think that I am in love but I am still totally not sure.
There is this guy, Matt. We talk online all the time about
the stupidest stuff sometimes. I complain to him about my
life and he kinda makes fun of it then gives me advice. The
only problem is that he lives in Canada and I live in
California. My friend introduced us. She really likes him
and he really likes her to and I have been jealous over
them ever since. Well yesterday we were talking about
sex... I know... wierd subject but it was kind of funny at
the same time. Then he said that he liked me in a way.
Crazy huh? And I kind of like him to and he knows that. But
in a way i feel so used! He likes my friend AND me? And he
has both of us liking him? What a player! So really I dont
know what to do. He isn't online yet so I havn't talked to
him today and when I do I still don't have the slightest
clue what I am going to say! Why does life have to be so
harsh for teenagers? Why can't it be like this for todlers
and adults to?
Enough with that stuff, lets move on. With friends
things are going okay I guess. I lied to my friend Heather
and said that I went to go take pictures with someone
yesterday because she was going somewhere with one of my
best friends and I didn't want to seem like a loner. I
don't know what I am going to do When I see her on Monday
at school. I thik that I am going to say that I spilt milk
from my cereal one morning on them and they were totally
ruined. I think that is a good cover up. Then I can also
say, "Well it was in the morning and I had just woke-up."
That part would be true but the only problem is none of it
is true. I seem to cover up my pathetic life with lies
every chance I get. I have tried to stop lying but once you
make one you have to keep on making them to cover up the
first. Don't you hate that about life? I love my friends
and all, don't get me wrong, but they are a little stuck up
sometimes to and they probably lie to me three times as
much as I do to them. And half the time I admit I was lying
and they don't so I never really feel bad about it. If they
lie to me they need to see how it feels. Plus I make up
totally belivable lies so that they don't even know that I
am lying. They all make up the stupidest lies in the world!
Well that is it for now I guess. There is nothing much
left to say except that I will just be waiting for Matt to
go online and Instant Message me. Then we can talk about
more stuff that we would die if anyone saw or even thought
about us saying. Lol.. and if you don't know what Lol means
it means laughing out loud.. this is a public journal. So
that is it for now and I will talk to you later. Tracy was
right.. journals help you see what you are really thinking
and how to improve yourself. I already knew all this stuff
about me but now that I see it in print it is easier for me
to understand how to change certain things that I don't
like about myself.
Buh Bye

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