2004-05-21 09:48:21 (UTC)

is that strange?

I was just thinking and I realized suddenly that it has been
over 2 years since a girl tried to make me feel good
physically - I mean, in a non-sexual way. I dunno - I can
remember different girls I went out with that used to show
an interest in whether I was feeling good or whether they
could do anything to make me feel better - you know,
creature comforts, cuddling, message, bath. God, I used to
love it so much I got that way in return - I became the type
to always offer messages (and take every opportunity to give
one cause I like making people feel good; if a girl I like
sits on me it is a near guarantee that I'll just start
working on shoulders and spine knots) - but I dunno...

I haven't been a recipient of that kinda thing in any
measure for so long...

I miss it
I get colder
I shut more of myself out the more I feel shut out
just like I got more open the more I felt recieved

what ever happened to girls that tried, or enjoyed bringing
pleasure? I only meet people that want a message and never
offer one - and further treat you like it is a priveledge to
give them one, and an insult to ask for one in return.

Selfish little electras

no more soul

I miss it
I miss real people