so now i'm back home relaxing after good old college. my
grandmother came from austria and i've been spending most
of my time just hanging out with her. the other day we
went to the grocery store and boy was that a trip. we
finally made it up to the cashier. i made the horrible
mistake of leaving her alone for a second. the next thing
i know i'm coming back to a stuttering cashier trying to
tell my grandmother the total in english. we had stumbled
into the dreaded stuttering time continuum. each
painfully stuttered syllable making you cringe and wanting
to just tell her to stop, but your own political
correctness just thinking "come onnnnnnnn, come onnnnnn,
you can do it." well she couldn't. she seriously could
not say 27.40. i have never been in a more painfully
awkward situation than that. have you ever been with a
person who stuttered so badly that they couldn't finish
their phrase? it's horrendous.
finally i quickly told me grandmother the price in german
when i saw that there was no way of her getting it ou. oh
man that was just horrible.
i'm in the house alone alot. it feels empty without toby
though. i walk downstairs thinking that he'll do his
usual rounding of the corner where he always playfully
attacked my feet in an effort to solicit some play-time.
it's a lot like getting ready to enjoy a piece of cake for
breakfast and then realizing that you ate it last night.
what a fucking let-down.
t.v. is ridiculous. now that i'm back i'm also watching
more t.v. i seriously don't watch any at all, contrary to
juliann's accusations. now i know why, for a while i
watch it with a satirical view. but after a while i just
wonder who the fuck watches this shit. my favorite are
the morning shows. there's always a lesbian, a black
person, and some white man and really hot young chick who
have their seperate shows. these shows are incredible. i
mean i watched a couple and all they did was talk about
nothing, but not funny like seinfeld. the worst is the
view. jesus talk about ad nauseam. my favorite of all
though is rickie lake in the afternoons. first of all
that bitch got fat. second of all she always wears the
most ridiculous clothing. she really reminds me of a
mother who desperately tries to be hip by wearing all of
the shit that younger people wear. she always has a
stupid ass hat on her head and some sort of dress that
looks like the hull of a freakin' ship.
my favorite part of her show is how you can tell that she
really has no idea what's going on. i love when the
camera pans to her when she's listening to a guest. the
gerbil in her brain must have lung cancer cos there's
nothign churning up there. she looks so vacant everytime
she's listening, it's like their discussing astro-physics
or some shit.
i guess by far my favorite though are the infomercials and
commericals. you can really get a feeling for the
demography for certain time slots. up until 9 am, it's
normal shit, like what you see in the prime time slots,
i'm guessing cos this is before people go to work. from 9-
1, it's basically geriatric crap. "don't get screwed out
of social security." "do you need a chair to drag your
old ass around?" all that good stuff. from 1-4 it's
basicallly lonely house-wife seeking
fulfillment'mercials. a lot of diet shit, a lot of get
great abs shit, a lot of this cleaner works better and
leaves your house smelling fresher shit. what i think is
kind of funny is that mtv and vh1 suck from around 10-5.
but BET is kickin' it. sociologist pleaser.