The Blue of my Oblivion
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it's really over.
today is the last day of school. my last day in that place.
that prison. i still have a good twelve minutes before i
have to leave, so a nice, short entry would do me good, i
first off, this morning is pure frenzy for me. i woke up
late and had to do everything faster that i've ever done
before. i cut my gums brushing my teeth that quickly. ow.
and my shirt wasn't dry when i woke up this morning. ugh.
so it's drying now and i'm sitting here in a bra and a
skirt. it's an interesting way to be. i might have to try
it more often, though i find more amusement in just
lounging in my undies. i do that a lot. thanks to lost in
translation. partially thanks to sofia coppola. i wonder if
she does it too...mmm
i went to, what is, hopefully, my last therapy session. she
scheduled me again for two weeks, but i don't know what
i'll be doing in two weeks. i have no idea what summer will
bring. i'm a little interested, a little scared. i might
need her more than ever. but i think i can manage. i didn't
have the heart to tell her in person i wouldn't be coming
back. she knows already, my parents told her. but the point
was for me to stand up to her and tell her that i wasn't
ever going back. my mom wants me to go back in two weeks no
matter what and tell her, but i'm not wasting seventy
dollars to go tell a woman i hate her. i'll just email her.
it's much quicker. my email will sound like a bad breakup
letter: hey mrs. anna. i'm sorry, but i can't come see you
anymore. i just need to take a timeout from everything, get
some time to myself. it's not you, it's me. let's just be
i have two minutes. i can't believe it took me ten minutes
to write that. alas, it did. and i have to go. this is it.
my last day. it's over. but it hasn't hit me yet. it seems
like just another day, and that i'll be there again on
monday. i just can't believe that it's really over.